Now this post is for ladies! You know when you meet a great guy, hes sexy, smart and the connection is great. Before you jump into it, I suggest you do a little DIGGING! Now am not saying some stalkerish type scary things, just a little background check before you jump in head first and discover some nasty surprises, by which time its too late, and you find yourself babysitting his kids!!
Now guys, never underestimate how much stuff a determined lady can find on you. Theres nothing hidden under the sun, especially the Niaja Jand sun! A guy once bet that I could never find the name of any of his exes and I found the name of 6! This process has also been aided by the global stalker site-Facebook! People dont realise how much stuff you can find out from there, especially if like me you are good at reading body language!
But this process is an essential. A friend of mine was starting to fall for this guy, but she was a bit sceptical cause she did not know that much about him, and wasnt sure she could trust him. Because I liked the guy, I thought a background check would help reassure her. I called a friend of mine who went to the same uni he had for his undergrad(Kent-this is easy because its mini lagos so pple are not hard to track down). My source assured me that the guy was a sweet guy, and was definately a catch--no kids, no yahoo past, no shady friends, no criminal record, valid visa......you get the drill! My source also referred me to a primary source, who was the guys really close friend and I asked him some random indirect questions, and he checked out clean. With this assurance, my sceptical friend was rest-assured and is with the guy as we speak!
On the other hand, I know a girl who met this guy and fell head over heels in love(shes a romantic) without doing the necessary background check, and found out this boy...........wait for it...........went to jail for fraud for 6mnths! Abeg, dt one is too much, but she is still with the guy because shes "in love", na which kind love be that??
A friend of mine also dated a guy whose ex was PREGNANT for him! But she only found out after she had been dating him for several months. Serious baby-mama drama!
Now these babez, are obviously not blind to the type of guys they are dating, but maybe a little background check might have helped them avoid starting in the first place. Here are some rules to help you research a potential boyfriend-
1.) Always ask him what you want to know first, and then double check just to make sure. i know some people say this shows lack of trust but I say its checking your investment. You dont invest in something with just the sellers word because thay are giving you a modified version to suit thier interest, you have to make sure you are getting the real deal!
2.)Talk to friends you have in common, and if you dont have any, talk to his friends, his siblings or anyone he introduces you to. Its easier to get stuff out of his female friends. But the key is to make it look like random conversation rather than military style interrogation, cause that looks suspicious
3.)the simplest details are what are essential, this adds up to the bigger picture
4.)Tell him anything you find that surprises you or you would like to know about, you definately dont want to be caught out as fishing for info!
6)Finally, once you decide to get into the relationship, TRUST is vital. If you are having to check his phone, email and log into his facebook to delete some friends once you guys have gotten together, then you probably have bigger issues!