Wednesday 29 April 2009

MR RIGHT.......

Another one of my passions is poetry, I am not really good, but I love to dabble and scribble, especially during boring classes!! I am obsessed with def poetry jam, so i guess am more into spoken words becasue its more chilled, funny and you dont have to worry about the technicalities, just saying whats on your mind. Heres a little spoken poetry i wrote in my Corporate Law class but never got round to reciting. Now this poem is about what every girls fantasizes about. Every girl has a list of what they want in thier IBM(Ideal Black Man), and mine goes a little something like this.............


He should be tall, but not like a giant, kinda like shack
He should be funny, but not like a clown, not like jack black

He should be intelligent, but not a genius, kinda like Obama
He should be passionate, but not obsessive, not like Osama

He should athletic, but not an athlete, kinda like woods
He should have a nice name that goes with mine, not like tiger

He should be stylish, but not a metro, kinda like kanye west
He should be flirtatious but not a flirt, not like George Best

He should have swagger, but not be cocky, kinda like jay-zee
He should be adventurous, but not crazy, not like Spike Lee

He should be a good cook, but not better than me, kinda like Jamie Oliver
He should be diverse and multi-cultural, but not like Mr Golliver

He should love all types of music, but not rock, kinda like lil wayne
He should be able to dance as well, but not like t-pain

He should be able to sing, but not better than me, kinda like Chris Brown
But not be violent and angry, not like Chris Brown

He should be rich, but not wealthy, kinda like David Beckham
He should be down to earth, but not live in Peckham
You get the general idea......

And they say we don’t know what we want,

But chances of finding him is like finding Osama in the airport
Or finding a porn star in the Convent
Even if I do find him, chances of him thinking am Mrs Right
Is like finding snow in Dubai
Or finding out Angelina Jolie is my real mother
So for now, I guess I'll settle for Mr Right Now......
As long as he's tall, dark and handsome of course...........

. Looool........xoxo


This is a beautiful poem that a friend of mine wrote for me on valentines day. Needless to say it is one of the best poems I have ever read, maybe because it is about me(ok theres no maybe). This boy is exceptionally talented and already has a published book of poems, some even written in yoruba. If I am ever feeling low, I read this and it brings me up, it is definately one of the best gifts I have ever gotten..........Enjoy xxx


The workmanship of your beauty
Is like the wheel of art
Where the clay of eulogy
Is sat upon the pedestal of the cunning hand

One by one the thread of your grace is woven
Each is a date I celebrate as a festival of purity – sophiat

The tanned cascade of heaven as a mortal piece
You are heaven’s showpiece of ornament praise

From where do I begin
Of what do I desire
She is a lease of beauty
Heaven extolled earth with

Many nights glistened of a thousand supplications of grace
You are the sparkle Venus was named after

Sapphires, rubies, emerald and jasper
Sardius, topaz, diamond and beryl
The carbuncle and the gold
Above all, the most precious bears your name

By the multitude of blessings
Earth was blessed by your creation.

Forth from the brimming flames
The crown of gold lustre’s her pride
But beyond the circumstance of all imaginations of all beauty summoned-
I entreat your favour – the fashioned gift of God

Each day is pondered with the horizon of what shall be
The vision of you is a saunter of thoughts of heaven above

Blisters of coal, amber of flair
Refined over seven chambers of purity is the christen of you
The voice of the morning is the song of the linnet
She’s the prosperity of day foretold
But you are breath of music she whistles in harmony

She was born in many beautiful ways;
My choicest – purity

Beauty is a scent of attraction;
The fragrance you wear.

Tender as the care of wool
Such is the cushion of her spirit
For her soul is a nestle of love
The comfort of peace and poise

Scarlet thread; the fleece of her lips
Swarthy charm; the grace of her skin
Clad of clay
Vessel of virtue
The miracle of birth born this day

Courtesy of sunshine
Model of the noonday
Her smile broadens the horizon a blessed day

Entitled of a name wealth prospered
The heavens rained odours upon her date
Like a pulse of admiration at divinity
The generosity of her spirit endears my fascination

Flutter like a butterfly
Impulsive as the weather
Free as the skies to soar
But unique as the personality of identity

The span of the night
Is the rest where dreams lay their head to chant
The cleansing of day is the brim of light
Labour hires her wage
But the thought of you – your cuteness
Is all the inspiration of this venture

From the foundations of the earth
God made your being
From the outstretch of the north
Which he drew out of an empty space
He extolled his love for you
A love song was thus composed by talent of heaven –wherein you were born
Little wonder I admire what I see.

Model of the studded dusk;
Metaphor of beauty .

By D.D

Lil Miss Califonia.....

Disclaimer-personal opinions expressed with quite some anger, i dont have beef with any1 ohhh

Ok I dont know if you guys have seen all the hoohaa about Miss Califonia in the recent Miss USA pagent. For those of you who havent this is basically what the whole gist.....

Ok now i dont want to spend this post talking about my views on gay marriage cause that'll take the whole day. To be honest I am not sure what exactly how I feel, but i am totally against any form of discrimination towards any group of people. Especially as black people, we should know better! Now I understand that some people think its wrong because of religious or personal beliefs and I respect that, but theres no need to express strong views directly to people you dont like. Its called being diplomatic or POLITICALLY CORRECT, which is the state we live in.
Now, pagents are all about being FAKE! Fake tan, fake hair, fake boobs and fake smile. The whole premise of it is quite comedic to me. So this dumb girl was apparently going to win until she decided to give the WRONG answer. NO dey do not give a crap about your opinions, its a pagent, your opinions do not count for shit, theres a right and wrong answer. Right answer- world peace, elimination of child hunger, charitable work, Wrong answer-Anything that starts with "my personal opinion......."
The question was asked by a GAY judge who we all know is all about gay rights and the whole point of the question was to highlight the fight for same sex marriage in America. What would it have cost her to just say what they wanted to hear? now she just looks like the dumb ass blonde we all thought she was and has suceeded in alienating a huge chunck of the society. If she wants to say some controversial shit like that then why doesnt she join the Republican party and spare us the Red neck hillbilly crap(ds is from a babe dt supposed to be from califonia, one of the gayest states ever).............jeeeeeeez!!!!

And no I am not a supporter of gay marriage or watever, i am just a campainer against stupidity. Ok dts really enough hating for the day.........loool


Tuesday 28 April 2009

Nigeria vs Africa......

Disclaimer-These are MY thoughts and opinions ohh and I am not a hater.......ok maybe just a little.......

This blog was inspired by a conversation/argument I had at a dinner party. A friend from an East African country said that Nigerians/Ghanians do not get along with countries from East Africa because we are....................wait for it.........HOSTILE!!! She said the reason that these two parts of Africa dont really know that much about each other is because .........wait for it................we think we are better that them!!!! Now the correct response should have been....damn right we are.....but she was eating with a knife so i decided to be diplomatic. In my undergrad I had alot of East African friends mostly from Kenya and they had expressed this hostility towards us as well and I just did not understand it. A kenyan guy eventaully broke it down for me--Nigerians are opressive. We have a way of dominating where ever we go and whatever we do. Contrary to the popular allusion, its not down to the fact that we are greater in number, although this plays a significant role, it is just that we have a dominant nature. For example, in my undergrad, the east Africans broke away from the ACS because it had apparently become the Nigerian society. At my current uni, there is actually a Nigerian society as well as an ACS and an East African one. I once had a debate with a guy who felt that there was no need for this, but I have been part of the ACS for several years and I know that no matter the effort put in place, a group of people are always displeased, and it is never the Nigerians!!
Back to the debate, she claims the reason there were not alot of East Africans in Nigeria is becasue we are hostile and the reason there are a number of Nigerians in east Africa is because they are welcoming. I totally disagree with this point. First of all, Nigerians are everywhere, weather the people welcome them or not(i mean there are people leavin Naij to school in Sudan and in thier mind they are abroad), and secondly, East Africans to me are very xenophobic(generalisation obviously). Even the ones living here tend to stick to themselves, do thier own thing and always speak thier language regardless of other people being there, kinda like hausa people to be honest. This to me is the reason that they do not like us, because we are so forceful ourselves, we always tend to butt heads.
I have to say with the East African guys, theres also a little insecurity. One of my Kenyan friends told me a story about his experience with Naija boys in Reading. Apparently he was really feeling this babe whom some popular Naija boy was also digging and they had a little beef. This Naija boy now organises boys to go and warn him to back off. He had dutch courage and decided to run his mouth telling them to do thier worst. He did not realise whom he was dealing with, and next thing they beat the crap out of my poor friend. He even showed me the scar they left on his face ohh, safe to say that boy will never come near any Naija babe in his life(which is a shame cause hes soo fine). They also hate the fact that thier own babezz always digg naija boyzz(but can you blame them lool)
Now I have alot of diverse friends but have never been able to figure out why other Africans do not like us, but I think I have come to the conclusion that we are too forcefull. When a single Nigerian walks in the room it makes a (loud) difference. All you have to do is go to London and you can see the of impact Nigerians(esp Yoruba). Regardless, Nigerians are one the nicest and welcoming people I know, so I have to conclude that they are the ones with the problem. I mean its not as if they like Ghanians or Americans or the British either. Come to think of it, they don't even like each other.............

One love...xoxo

More jokesssss........

Disclaimer-A bit on d dirty side......but then arent we all?? lool

1. Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they came upon this harem with over 100 beautiful women. They began getting friendly with some of the women in a physical way, when suddenly the Sheik came in. "I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will each die and in a way corresponding to your profession."The sheik turned to the first man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a cop," said the first man. "All right, shoot his penis off!" said the Sheik.He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. "I'm a fireman," said the second. "All right, burn his penis off!" said the Sheik.Finally, he asked the last man, "And you, what do you do for a living?"And the third man answered, with a big smile on his face, "I'm a lollipop salesman!"

2. A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "Let's make a demonstration out of this. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."The kid is puzzled, but he decides to see if he can figure out what his father means. He asks his mother, "Mom, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"His mother looks around slyly, and then with a little smile on her face says, "Don't tell your father, but, yes, I would."Then he goes to his sisters room and asks her, "Sis, if someone gave you a million dollars, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"His sister looks up and says, "Definitely!"The kid goes back to his father and says, "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million bucks, but in reality, we're living with a couple of whores."

3. A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns.Inside, he finds couple in bed.He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.While tying the homeowner's wife to the bedthe convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck,then gets up & goes into the bathroom.While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:'Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes!He's probably spent a lot of time in jailand hasn't seen a woman in years.I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex,don't resist, don't what ever he tells you.Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.This guy is obviously very dangerous.If he gets angry, he'll kill us both.Be strong, honey. I love you!'His wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck.He was whispering in my ear.He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute,and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom.Be strong honey. I love you too

4. A 95-year-old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No."The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!""That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear." "That's kind of what I'm getting at," replied the doctor.

5. A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he'd stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do.The rabbi comes, and he and the priest are in the confessional. In a few minutes, a woman comes in and says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."The priest asks, "What did you do?"The woman says, "I committed adultery."Priest: "How many times?"Woman: "Three times."Priest: "Say two Hail Marys, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more."A few minutes later, a man enters the confessional. He says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."Priest: "What did you do?"Man: "I committed adultery."Priest: "How many times?"Man: "Three times."Priest: "Say two Hail Marys, put $5 in the box, and go and sin no more."The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he's got it so the priest leaves.A few minutes later, another woman enters and says, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."Rabbi: "What did you do?"Woman: "I committed adultery."Rabbi: "How many times?"Woman: "Once."Rabbi: "Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5."


Sunday 26 April 2009


I know i havnt blogged in a while but I have soo much work:-(( Dont worry, i have sooo much stuff to blog about! Am most excited about an interview with a certain make-up artist to the stars!!!! For now lemme leave you with some day dreams i have been having in the library when i was supposed to be doing work................

a hot guy that can do this for me.................


prefarably him...............mmmmmm...yummy

a dress that zips open for easy access looll, its jokesss

and these sexxy ass heels...........sighhhh
Enjoy xoxo

Friday 24 April 2009


I loveee comedy and jokes(especially dry sarcastic british humour ) so here are a couple of things that have been making me laugh lately. Will post them as once in a while to brightens your day........Enjoy xoxo

I could watch this over and over and over again and this would still be hilarious!!!

Sooo trueee.....



This is a story that one of my best friends, a beautiful and talented writer and poet wrote. It is completely fictional although the xters are inspired by real people, and hopefully will fill the void for us naija babezz that love romantic novels but cannot completely relate with the xters and lives of foreign books. Let me know what you think.........xoxo


10.20am Thursday morning on the immense ground floor of Holloway Grove; the shiny new office complex situated in the prosperous commercial avenue of Victoria Island Lagos. The temperature in the reception area was below freezing, courtesy the loud groan of the industrial air conditioner; perhaps it just sounded loud because it was so unusually quiet in here.
The minute one walked in from the 40 degrees sweltering heat and through the huge revolving glass doors; it felt remarkably like being sucked into a vacuum. A kind of looking glass of parallel worlds; out there to in here, heat to cold, noise to silence, asphalt streets to marble floors.
The center piece in the parlor was a ridiculous over the top stained glass sculpture of sorts, the idea and meaning unknown to everyone. Sunlight beams drawn from the buildings’ over head glass roof were hewn into its prisms and illuminated. The resulting kaleidoscope of colors were bent and dispersed throughout the lounges’ arena. Scattered diamonds and hexagons of Blue-greens, purple-reds and Orange-yellows splashed out on the marble floors like gems and precious jewels carelessly flung by angels from the heavens. A show-stopping cynosure; and a result of no good going unpunished as vendors occasionally stuck their noses to the glass, eyes wide, mouths agape to stare in wonderment at the Eden like scene.
As mid-morning drew near, hawkers would sit on the concrete steps or lean on the chrome railings of the huge front doors to chat idly to Musa the security guard; employed to prevent this very same “obstruction to business”.
Yes, in Lagos, you define your own job description.
No more is this more exemplified than in Sandra the over-dressed secretary of Prada & Co auditing firm which occupied 4 of the 15 floors in Holloway. Her days consisted of flicking through an edition of True Love magazine, re-applying her lip-gloss and replying every guest’s enquiry with “walk down, turn left and up the elevator”. Her resume would read Assistant in Customer and Client Care Relations.

10.27am Thursday morning, Holloway Grove, Sandra sat staring unashamedly at the only visitor in the room continuously twine and entwine her manicured hands. Her very simple blue shirt and black mid-length skirt looked too boring to be one of Oga’s “nieces”. It made sense though; Sandra figured as she clocked the visitors’ silky weave, leather strap wrist watch and expensive black heeled shoes,
“She’s from abroad. Probably speaks through her nose as well.” Sandra snorted.
“I’ll make her wait just a bit longer before letting her through to management”… and with that she flicked to the style section of her True Love magazine.

Twenty-one year old Jen didn’t like sitting on her own and had begun to wonder if she had gotten the wrong address for her interview; or perchance the wrong time. Her thighs had begun to ache from sitting for too long but the leather sofa made a squelching noise announcing her every posture change to the receptionist, who would then shoot her a dirty look from atop her magazine. Despite purposely positioning herself as far away from the air conditioner as she could Jen was still cold. That’s saying a lot for a girl who spent three years in Liverpool. The Jodie in her shook her head in shame every time a new goose bump appeared on her fore-arm. Jen was cold, cold but nervous which meant her palms were sweaty. She was also 20 minutes early, hungry and bored. Her mother was right she should have eaten something.
“Its going to be a good day. It has to be a good day. It shall be a good day” Jen repeatedly murmured to herself.
“Things are going to be different,” she continued, but this isn’t Liverpool. She had been so afraid appearing too Britico for fear of alienating her future Nigerian co-workers that she’d spent quite a while picking her outfit, “no court shoes, no waist-coat, no pencil skirts, no tuxedo jacket….” but sitting in this ludicrously extravagant building and looking at the tightly clad receptionist once again adjust her red lycra off shoulder dress; it seemed Jen had succeeded in alienating herself.
She’d gotten the Good Luck on your first day from the family, all in their different ways of course. Beginning with a bear hug from dad, a prayer from mom and a “why do u look like you’re going to church” from Brother Eric.

Jen stared at her watch, 10.30am, which gave her another fifteen minutes to recite
Inspirational quotes to herself “so u think, so you shall act, so u shall do, so u shall be”
Suddenly this warm fragrant breath came to her, as though carried by song; it felt like a light tickle. Smiling in spite of herself Jen slowly turned around and BOOM. It felt like a canon ball had been shot straight into her stomach, all the air rushed out of her lungs and her throat went dry. At the back of her mind Jen knew what was going on; it was happening again. But she was so sure she’d self-medicated, she couldn’t, and she just couldn’t be THAT stupid twice. As if in response, her clammy palms instantly dried up, oh boy! There’s no escaping it now. She was experiencing a bad case of Lust at First Sight.

For a minute all Jen could do was sit staring at him. HIM. The gorgeous, curly-headed, pink-lipped, broad-shouldered SOB sent by the devil to tempt her. Immediately she scouted the shoes,
“hmm, black leather, Kenneth Cole. Nice. It’s a classic.”
This will not be in vain then, and with that Jen re-adjusted her seating (squelching sound ignored) to savour this creature. She started with the organized messy hair of his. Was he half-caste? His hair seemed a lot softer and a lot wavier than the typical Nigerian. There was a lot of it as well, Jen could already see her fair hands combing through his dark curls, and blissfully she sighed.
God was showing off when he carved that face, every one of his features was Nigerian but with a European twist- kinda like Akara with Yorkshire pudding.
His eyes were almond shaped and deliciously brown, at that moment an Angel blessed her by casting a flicker of light from the sculpture his way.
The indigo beam rested on his jaw line making him look like a Greek god. Her beloved(as he was now known to Jen) didn’t even flinch or lean away from this essence, he merely stood there nonchalantly chatting away to some comparatively pale male counterpart, who Jen couldn’t even bothered to acknowledge with as much as a glance. The indigo light moved downwards and Jen obediently lowered her gaze to be guided by this angels’ gift.
His shoulders were broad and toned, arms dangled at his sides with biceps gently straining against his blue cotton Fred Perry shirt. The tiny white buttons on it seemed adequate enough to contain the mass of his chest right down to the washboard abs, his collar done right-up with a white silk tie which dropped down that beautiful chest to just above his belt buckle.
The belt like his shoes was black, leather, and a classic YSL design. Jen knew this only because her brother Andrew had the exact model. Jen licked her lips happily, she loved a smart dresser. The light once again proceeded downwards and although Jen noticed that she was loosing track of her surroundings (as noticed by her feet curled up underneath her on the sofa) she felt it would be wrong not to fully utilize heavens gift.
Downwards she and the light went, to the black trousers, slung low on his narrow hips like a cowboy with the pockets cleverly hidden from view (that must be expensive tailoring). The bulge is his trouser was…well it was miraculous…and unless her eyes deceived her it seemed to be getting bigger with each blink. Jen purred contentedly and began to blink as fact as she could.
“Miss U know we have a Sexual Harassment policy here at Holloway.” came a husky voice from right above her head.
At first Jen wondered if it was the angel retrieving his guiding light.
“Miss, I really do feel quite violated now” it said again
That’s when it hit her. Looking up sheepishly, Jen locked eyes with McBeautiful. That’s why the bulge grew with each blink, he was walking towards me.
“Oh thanks for the heads up, Jen thought, but there was no use blaming her brain as all her blood had been elsewhere and happily so for that matter. Gathering up all the air McB stole from her…Jen spoke
“I’m here for an interview”
McB smiled at her blunt dismissal of his previous statement.
“I’m Kabir,” he said holding out his hand. To his delight the fair lady took it
“Jennifer”. Oh a Hausa guy, hmmm. She was wrong then, the features weren’t European but Sub-Saharan. Exit Yorkshire pudding, enter Spice Paste.
“Where is your interview? Or did u plan to objectify men all day”
“It’s on the fifth floor and in-checking her watch- 20mins. If you don’t want to be stared at don’t leave the house. Certainly avoid office reception areas.” Jen replied staring him straight in the eye.
He was beautiful; pretending he had no effect on her would be fruitless. He probably had women using their cheeks to clean the soles of his feet when he got home from work. In fact she should thank him, if for nothing else she wasn’t cold anymore.

Kabir stared at her like it was the first time anyone had ever mentioned his looks before. He seemed embarrassed, a little flattered and a lot self-conscious.
Jennifer wasn’t buying it and was just about to say so when Kabir- still replaying the “don’t leave home” jibe -laughed a husky laugh, exposing straight white teeth. It sounded like thunder before a storm, all low, deep and gravelly.
The hairs on Jen’s skin pricked up, straight and alert. Her skin felt like it had just been jolted by spark plugs, she looked down to see if the hairs were singed. They weren’t. Almost instantaneously she felt something warm slid down her spine.
My God what is this? It was one thing to cope with rapid heart beat or butterflies in her tummy but to get a shock like that then feel so warm was just her undoing. Her lips parted and she purred deep in her throat. She just wanted to curl up on this sofa, have him stroke her hair and snuggle. Rest her head on that expanse of a chest and have those biceps curl around her very tight. His fragrance encompassing her as the scent made her giddy with desire, those strawberry lips kissing her ear lobes, his tongue tickling her neck. Jen wanted him alright. Jennifer wanted him very very very badly….

“I like you Jennifer.” Kabir said tilting his head to one side. Wholly unaware of his physiological effect on her
“I work on the 8th floor so you can wait in my office if you want.”
Holding his hands up in mock surrender he continued
“I won’t be there, so don’t be worried. I have a meeting but feel free to use the internet and whatever until your wait is over.”
Jennifer waited for the customary wink, but saw nothing but sincere amusement in his eyes. Was he really serious? That’s all he wanted her to do in his office? Use the internet? How could someone who looked like he materialized from the pages of Sin, chapter Lust 101 behave like he wrote the damn commandments?
Once Jen accepted how stupid it was to feel offended that her beloved was being a Gentleman. She realized how nice he was being, so Jen said just that before she would look ungrateful.
“Not a problem” he said smiling

Holding her hand, Kabir helped her up from the noisy sofa and swiped his card at the elevator. As they walked past lycra receptionist Jen could have sworn she heard her mutter “niece” or something like that. It wasn’t so much what she said but the way she said it, it reverberated like a snide remark. Jen promised to ask Eddie if it was a new slang for something else, something sinister maybe- when she got home.

Next thing Jen was alone in a mirrored elevator with Kabir. He literally is one of the few men that could call them selves beautiful. His scent enveloping her and that face inches away from hers, and she forgot all about nieces, cousins, new-borns or whatever. At this moment he was staring at her intently, still with that slightly bemused expression.

“U look at me like I amuse you” Jenny said slowly
“And u look at me like I’m food” Kabir responded without missing a beat
“I like food” Jen said honestly
“And I like to be amused” replied Kabir in the same tone
“U do actually smell delicious, you know. What cologne do u use?”
“It’s a special blend of spices I get from back home”
“Ahhh so u ARE food” Jen smiled
Kabir laughed a deep one.
“We don’t see it that way in Adamawa”

PING! The elevator sounded for the 8th floor. Opening up to a huge room, with a floor covered in a lush thick carpet of gold with expertly exposed threads of deep purple. The sounds of MAC computers and printers, faxes and a coffee maker came from the long corridor to the left, saying that this room got even bigger still just around the corner. Large sun windows on opposite sides of the room flooded the twenty or so semi-enclosed cubicles in light. Each one was encased in glass with the almost right angle edges curved in a circular fashion. The shape was unusual but Jen just knew that with the gold purple flooring, see-through cubicles and high ceiling it felt like a magical honeycomb.
Seeing Jen’s marveled expression, Kabir leaned over and whispered
“Architects you know. Bloody difficult to work with, you’d think they were allergic to conventionality.”
Jen looked up
“Oh you’re an Architect. I mistook you for a banker.” She giggled. Just like I mistook you for an angel-she added quietly.
Kabir led Jen out; her palm still very much in his, and they were met with an accolade of muted wolf whistles.

“ah ah Mallam. Because u don find yellow baby u force am to do ancho with you” said a chubby friendly-faced man at the water cooler.”
Simultaneously Jen and Kabir looked down at their identical matching blue shirts and black bottoms. Jen was so busy raping him with her eyes that it never even occurred to her that they were dressed alike. Looking at each other they both burst into spontaneous laughter.

“Ehh sho. We send K to meet with a colleague and he comes back with a wife complete with matching attire, synchronized laughter and all.” A pretty older in a polka dot dress and green bow shoes said. She smiled affectionately at Jen as she played with the apple in her hand.
“E be like say ground floor hot oh” said a voice Jen couldn’t see
“Shebi he went with Femi? Let’s see what that one will return with” replied another man in a white kaftan as he gave Jen an appreciative once-over, stopping to pay particular attention to the twins.
“My money is on K though” he said licking his lips.
Jen wondered about that Sexual Harassment suit Kabir mentioned earlier…
“No me I believe in Femi oh” said invisible voice guy.
“Though I admit he would need to pull it out of the hat to top Kabir”

At that moment footsteps from the stairwell sounded and everyone, Jen like-wise turned in anticipation to see Femi walk in with a newspaper full of fragrant pieces of spiced suya. Complete with onions, diced green peppers and thick slices of red tomatoes.
Everyone in the office burst in laughter, Kabir included.
Femi merely walked to cubicle with “make una dey laugh, im not giving anybody.”
White kaftan guy leaned in to explain the joke to Femi as Kabir made introductions of Jen to everyone in the office. He repeatedly referred to her as his Eve because their paths crossed in the Eden downstairs much to the delight of his female colleagues. Jen found that they all appeared to enjoy playing match-maker with Kabir, she had envisioned envious glances and side-way snipes but it was all a big family.
Jen was so busy enjoying the compliments and the warmth of Kabir’s hands that he had to remind her of the time.
“Oh my God” Jen exclaimed, immediately going into panic mode.
“Did you forget? Kabir looked once again amused
“No.” Jen was adamant. “I just kind of thought it was already over”
“I have to leave now,” Jen said as she made to go
“Will you come back?” Kabir sounded immensely sad. He entwined his fingers with hers and raised her free hand to his chest.
Jen looked into those almonds and decided that at this moment she must be the luckiest girl in the world.
“You have a meeting” she answered. Steadying her breathing
“Oh my God. You’re right”
“Did u forget?” Jen said coyly
“Ok, how about dinner then”, Kabir offered
“Or lunch or brunch, whatever” oh sweet guy, he looked so nervous. Jen couldn’t understand it. He is after all a masterpiece
“Yeah sure.” Jen answered as nonchalantly as she could.
“I’ll leave my number with the lady at the reception.”
“Why don’t u just give it to me now”
Jen merely smiled and walked into the elevator. Thanking the angel again for the perfect timing. As the door on her real-life angel slowly closed she gave a short wave and laughed as he pretended to pry the doors open in mock action hero style.
The last thing she saw as she pressed level 5 were those strawberry pink lips curved into a determined smile.

Lagos for Miss J just got whole lot sexier.

By S.B

Wednesday 22 April 2009

Album Review.....

Anyone who knows me knows i cannot live without music, I'm constantly looking for something new and the next big thing, and will tell u what i think about them......

Disclaimer-views expressed are strictly personal so if u dont like it..........sue me:-)

Artist-Wande Coal

Album-Mushin to Mohits


This is the much expected debut album of rags to riches crooner W.Ceezy! What he lacks in looks he more than compensates in vocals and charisma. The production is EXCELLENT, and u can see Don Baba J's influence on each track(which they let u know every single time). Its mostly up-beat, party songs, which is quite disappointing as i was looking forward to more Ololufe type love tunes. The lyrics are original and down to earth no forming at all.

Best Tracks-
*Bumper to Bumper
*You Bad,
*Kiss your hands feat Ikechukwu
*Se Ope(Religious song with an amazing upbeat tempo which I lovee)
*Its all Gone(he sounds so janded on this)
*Who Born the Maga
*Jehovah(amazinggggg beat)
*Confused feat D'banj- Not crazy abt that lil voice that sings the chorus(like akons Lonley) but D'banj KILLS it(as per usual)
*Ten-Ten feat Mohits crew
*Ololufe-Need i say more, one of the best naija love songs

Not so great tracks-
*I know you like it-beat is annoying although lyrics are ok
*Se na like this -annoying beat, and preaching about corruption and how we can fix naija etc, why do artists feel the need to have a track saying we shld be one nation and all dt rubbish, u r a singer so just stick dat and leave the politics for Yaradua sheeesh!
*Thats whats up-jst a braggy song abt hw much money in d bank, champagne poppin, nt really his style,
*On my Grind-ok ds song is not bad apart from K-switch and D'prince on it, these guys are WACKKKKKKKKK!!! OMGGG how d hell are dey on Mohits?????? d flows are sooo weak i think my grandmother can rap better than both of them combined and she doesnt even speak english!!(allow d haterade)

Overall its an excellent album you can listen to over and over again and not get tired of his voice(because he switches it up all the time and features a number of top artists). One of the best albums of the year so far! Cop yours! xoxo

Tuesday 21 April 2009

White Summer Night's Dream...

It seems this season is all about neautral shades, cream, beige, blush and my favorite white. Maxi or mini, loose or fitted, its all about that effortless chic....... i loveeee

Thankfully, there are some beautiful and affordable ones on asos(what was life before asos??)

Remember that white makes you look bigger so its not for all body types, opt for cream, beige and other nuetrals instead. Enjoy!! xoxo

Monday 20 April 2009

The next big thing.........

This dude is going to blow up, extreamly talented and hard working, cant wait for him to put out his new album. This is him recording one of his songs from the upcoming album(ignore our mindless chitchat and total unapreciation of the art of music making)

His first single is Sunshine has that John Legend feel which is not present on the Nigerian music scene right now......

You heared it here it first. Enjoy xxx

Nigerian MEN........;-))

By popular demand, this is going to be my first topic of debate(which is another thing i love). Notice the empasis on the word MEN and not guys or boys because this rant is about them, and I am going to generalise it as African men as well because I have been to Ghana, Benin and Togo and they exhibit this same xtic. The inability to stay FAITHFUL!! Now this is obviously a generalisation, but statistically lets say 90% of these Nigerian MEN are irresponsible in one way or the other. Now some people(such as my mum) think that it is inbuilt! I went out wen i wz in lagos and the bars and clubs r full of OLD MEN and i mean dese dudes make my dad look 15! Not only that they were overweight with tummies the size of a pregnant woman about to drop and dey were still stuffing thier faces with food and alchohol, extreamly grotesque. The worst part is that they have the confidence and swag of Kanye west. They really think dey r d shit and are doing you a favour by blessing you thier presence....ewwwww! My main problem is that I do not know how to be rude and I found the whole thing extreamly funny, but when you laff they start to think u r really feeling thier P! Another problem is that they do not take no for an answer, one of my friends told this MAN that she has a boyfriend and d d dude replies:"so? am married with two kids!". the proper reply should have been then WHAT THE HEll ARE YOU DOING HERE?? It gets very exhausting trying to be polite, but its hard to be rude to man older than your father when you are brought up in our culture.

Now i have nothing against mature guys going out to have fun as long as you do it with a little self respect and dignity, thats the reason I still love living in the North, the men do not make a fool of themselves. But i do understand that alot of the times, naija babez, especially my age all want suga daddies and aristos to fend for them, and the sad thing is that some of these babes do not even come from poor backgrounds which was the classic excuse. it seems its just the norm now to have a bobo and a sugerdaddy!
Well thats enough ranting for the day, but on the plus side dere are alot if young, swaggalicious naija guys that are doing thier own thing, if only they do not turn into sugerdaddies when they grow old..........

Sunday 19 April 2009

Finally am doing it.....

I finally decided to write my own blog. I have been procastinating for a MINUTE now(cause dts wt i do). I never wanted to start because i knew i'd get bored(another thing i do) but its d perfect opportunity to practice for my column in Thisday style(one of my many daydreams).
I just came back from Naija and will do a whole post on Naija guys/men. Will also do a review of hot albums by naija artists that we are rocking to and new Nollywood movies. And i will aim to do these asap cause i tend to prolong things!!
For now I will leave you with the two songs am currently feeling like crazy and these hottt new heels am dying for!!! xoxo