Definition of Chivalry--"The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women"Heyy blogsville,
So I have been told that you all want more personal stories....inside scoop....basically GIST, chai my fans are AMEBO! But you know d customers are always right so here goes......
I was at a house party with my friend and it was one of those naija ones where the babez cook and the guys bring drinks etc. The birthday girl is known as mama cass because her food always tastes like some buca type sturvs, I mean there was moi-moi, efo, punded yam and freaking banga soup. The babe went all out men. You should all know that I am a lover of food, and I dont know how to form when it comes to grubs!
Sha back to the story, we went outside to sit on the porch to eat and there were these two guys standing and drinking, lets call them Stupid 1 and Stupid 2. So S1 goes ahead and introduces himself and starts making small talk. I am a friendly person so I respond and we were chatting about random things. The food was really hot and I started coughing and S1 is like haba, which kind of naija girl are you that you cant eat pepper? I was like what the hell, this food is burning, and which kind of statement is that?
You have to understand that the guy was really cocky and thought he was really funny, so he laughed at the end of each sentence he uttered. I was already getting mildly irritated but was like whatever, just indulge him. Now this is where any normal girl would have realised that he was a dumbass but I have this thing where I always like to psycho-analyse people and figure out why they are the way they are. My friend always says I have time to talk to losers but I just love conversing to all sorts of people!
Anyway back to the gist, the owner of the house comes round with a bin bag and starts to pick up the used plates on the floor in an attempt to clear up. As I was sat down on the sofa and thus near the floor, I picked up the ones around me and passed it to the guy. So S1and S2 are standing next to my sofa surrounded by dirty plates and they are just standing there with thier hands in thier pockets while I am picking up the plates.
So I was like could you please pass those plates to the guy?
The guy looked down to the floor and then back at me and was like nah, ITS TOO FAR!
In my mind I was like this guy has got to be kidding, he must really think he's hilarious.
I was like dude, be serious, the guy is trying to clear up a bit, the house is a mess, just be a gentleman and pass the plates.
He looks down again and then back at me and was like nah, I CANT BE BOTHERED! He must have spotted the irritated look on my face and so he replied, "dont worry, they'll clear up when we are gone, I mean its a party, the house is meant to get dirty.
I was too shocked to respond, but the disgusted look on my face kept prompting him to reply with each sentence sounding stupider than the previous.
He was like"D'ya have some sort of OCD or something, are you one of those super-freakishly clean housewives"?
This is me that my mum is threatning to send me to etiqette school because am so untidy.
Err...no, I just happen to have MANNERS, you know that acient thing that you obviously were never brought up with. It is defined as "ways of behaving with reference to polite standards and social comportment" that obliges you to do or not do certain things. I get irritated by people like this, and he could tell and was deriving pleasure from getting me worked up.
He decided to add the cherry on top by saying "if it bothers you so much, why dont you get up and pick up the plates yourself (you guys have to understand that the plates were literally touching this guys shoes oh!)
........I mean you women are always arguing for equal rights......I dont have to be a gentleman anymore......." and on and on poured the verbal diarrhea that was supposed to be his argument for why men do not need to act like gentlemen since we are all equal. As he was saying this, he moved aside and slided the plates towards me with his foot, while his friend S2 (who was South African, so its not a purely Naija thing), stood there laughing his head off and nodding in agreement.
I WAS FUCKING PISSED! But I knew there was no point arguing with a cave-man unless you want to communicate by jumping up and down while scratching your ass and picking your nose. I am a huge feminist, (but not one of those I dont need a man types), so this kinda of talk gets me soooo freaking worked up.
I just picked up the plates in slience and went to throw it in the trash, while he stood there with this neanderthal grin on his face, like he had just succeded in putting another over-zealous/over-educated woman in her rightful place.
Do you know the wrost part? This dumbass has the audacity to ask me for my number? I was awestruck at his nerve. I did not know weather to laugh or go upside his head.
Why in the world would I give you my number when you are obviously a world-class jerk? I said
Oh come-on, you know I was only joking now, but you know how you jand girls are now, always trying to prove stubborn, your ITK is too much, so I just had to let you know I am not one of those your moomoo guys that you can take for a ride, me I am a real MAN!
I was like WOW, how smooooth, do you use this line with all the ladies???
He was like, its worked well for me so far........
Chineke Meee ohhh!!! Osalobua Lahooo!!!! Olorun Obaa ohhh,!!!! which kind human being is this one??
He said, come on, you and I both know that all this feminist stuff is crap, you are a lady and so you should do certain things.......
At this point, I was like, dude, I have to go ohh....
Ah ahn, how far with that number now.....
All I said was that just remember that first impressions make a huge impact on person's perspective of you.........and from my first impression of you, I would not recommend you to my wrost enemy........and with that I turned around and packed my things and left!(yes I know I love melodramatic one-liners lool).
But on a more serious note, what is up with Nigerian so called "educated" men and thier barbaric mentality, and lack of manners? I mean even if you exhibit such behaviour at home, you must never display such amidst people you just meet. I meet so many Naija boys and they lack simple acts of respect such as saying "please", "thank you", helping out with little chores, letting the lady walk ahead and opening doors. It is these little things that tell us apart.
And NO it is not asking for too much from an african man. My brothers, my cousins, my uncles and a number of my good guy-friends display classic examples of good-upbringing. They never get tired of opening doors, carrying heavy stuff and showing total respect. They do not talk down to women, or expect to treated like semi-gods simply because they own a penis. This does not emasculate them in any way, rather it shows signs of a man who is confident enough in himself without having to re-assure himself, the society and his woman who the man is. Respect is reciprocal and is earned, so a woman will respect you if you show her the same level you expect to recieve.
What I do not understand is that black women are brought up from a young age to accept the fact that men can get away with anything simple because they are men. This means that from a young age they are told that your younger brother is more important, is the opara, even though he stupider than you, his word is law. So they naturally give men respect even though they neither earn nor deserve it. So why do black men constantly need to reassure women that they should be given respect even though our women naturally do??? How many cases do we hear of when a black man will put his black woman through but as soon as he gets with a woman of another race cannot try half of the rubbish with her? It is the way we are brought up.
This type of scenario at the party is always a shock to me because I grew up in a household where the women were treated softly and the men harshly. My brothers dared not cross the girls because if we told dady, he would always take the side of the girls. So many times I would beat up my brother for no reason, and he would not dare report, but they could never lay a finger on me or even raise thier voice because my dad would not hear of it. He taught my brothers that women should be treated with more respect than men because they were women, full stop.
So everytime I seem shocked when I come across chauvanistic men, my friends always look at me like chai this girl were you not raised in the same Nigeria that we all are? It is a man's world, the earlier you accept it, the better for your blood pressure.
Knowing how stubborn I am, I guess I am going to die from high blood-pressure!! LoL!
Enjoy
Miss B
xoxo
