Reasearching a Potential Boyfriend.........

Hey blogville,

Now this post is for ladies! You know when you meet a great guy, hes sexy, smart and the connection is great. Before you jump into it, I suggest you do a little DIGGING! Now am not saying some stalkerish type scary things, just a little background check before you jump in head first and discover some nasty surprises, by which time its too late, and you find yourself babysitting his kids!!


Now guys, never underestimate how much stuff a determined lady can find on you. Theres nothing hidden under the sun, especially the Niaja Jand sun! A guy once bet that I could never find the name of any of his exes and I found the name of 6! This process has also been aided by the global stalker site-Facebook! People dont realise how much stuff you can find out from there, especially if like me you are good at reading body language!


But this process is an essential. A friend of mine was starting to fall for this guy, but she was a bit sceptical cause she did not know that much about him, and wasnt sure she could trust him. Because I liked the guy, I thought a background check would help reassure her. I called a friend of mine who went to the same uni he had for his undergrad(Kent-this is easy because its mini lagos so pple are not hard to track down). My source assured me that the guy was a sweet guy, and was definately a catch--no kids, no yahoo past, no shady friends, no criminal record, valid visa......you get the drill! My source also referred me to a primary source, who was the guys really close friend and I asked him some random indirect questions, and he checked out clean. With this assurance, my sceptical friend was rest-assured and is with the guy as we speak!


On the other hand, I know a girl who met this guy and fell head over heels in love(shes a romantic) without doing the necessary background check, and found out this boy...........wait for it...........went to jail for fraud for 6mnths! Abeg, dt one is too much, but she is still with the guy because shes "in love", na which kind love be that??


A friend of mine also dated a guy whose ex was PREGNANT for him! But she only found out after she had been dating him for several months. Serious baby-mama drama!


Now these babez, are obviously not blind to the type of guys they are dating, but maybe a little background check might have helped them avoid starting in the first place. Here are some rules to help you research a potential boyfriend-


1.) Always ask him what you want to know first, and then double check just to make sure. i know some people say this shows lack of trust but I say its checking your investment. You dont invest in something with just the sellers word because thay are giving you a modified version to suit thier interest, you have to make sure you are getting the real deal!


2.)Talk to friends you have in common, and if you dont have any, talk to his friends, his siblings or anyone he introduces you to. Its easier to get stuff out of his female friends. But the key is to make it look like random conversation rather than military style interrogation, cause that looks suspicious


3.)the simplest details are what are essential, this adds up to the bigger picture


4.)Tell him anything you find that surprises you or you would like to know about, you definately dont want to be caught out as fishing for info!


6)Finally, once you decide to get into the relationship, TRUST is vital. If you are having to check his phone, email and log into his facebook to delete some friends once you guys have gotten together, then you probably have bigger issues!

Enjoy......xxx
Miss B:-))

Nigerian MEN........;-))

By popular demand, this is going to be my first topic of debate(which is another thing i love). Notice the empasis on the word MEN and not guys or boys because this rant is about them, and I am going to generalise it as African men as well because I have been to Ghana, Benin and Togo and they exhibit this same xtic. The inability to stay FAITHFUL!! Now this is obviously a generalisation, but statistically lets say 90% of these Nigerian MEN are irresponsible in one way or the other. Now some people(such as my mum) think that it is inbuilt! I went out wen i wz in lagos and the bars and clubs r full of OLD MEN and i mean dese dudes make my dad look 15! Not only that they were overweight with tummies the size of a pregnant woman about to drop and dey were still stuffing thier faces with food and alchohol, extreamly grotesque. The worst part is that they have the confidence and swag of Kanye west. They really think dey r d shit and are doing you a favour by blessing you thier presence....ewwwww! My main problem is that I do not know how to be rude and I found the whole thing extreamly funny, but when you laff they start to think u r really feeling thier P! Another problem is that they do not take no for an answer, one of my friends told this MAN that she has a boyfriend and d d dude replies:"so? am married with two kids!". the proper reply should have been then WHAT THE HEll ARE YOU DOING HERE?? It gets very exhausting trying to be polite, but its hard to be rude to man older than your father when you are brought up in our culture.

Now i have nothing against mature guys going out to have fun as long as you do it with a little self respect and dignity, thats the reason I still love living in the North, the men do not make a fool of themselves. But i do understand that alot of the times, naija babez, especially my age all want suga daddies and aristos to fend for them, and the sad thing is that some of these babes do not even come from poor backgrounds which was the classic excuse. it seems its just the norm now to have a bobo and a sugerdaddy!
Well thats enough ranting for the day, but on the plus side dere are alot if young, swaggalicious naija guys that are doing thier own thing, if only they do not turn into sugerdaddies when they grow old..........
xoxo

Finally am doing it.....

I finally decided to write my own blog. I have been procastinating for a MINUTE now(cause dts wt i do). I never wanted to start because i knew i'd get bored(another thing i do) but its d perfect opportunity to practice for my column in Thisday style(one of my many daydreams).
I just came back from Naija and will do a whole post on Naija guys/men. Will also do a review of hot albums by naija artists that we are rocking to and new Nollywood movies. And i will aim to do these asap cause i tend to prolong things!!
For now I will leave you with the two songs am currently feeling like crazy and these hottt new heels am dying for!!! xoxo