Tuesday 29 September 2009

Naija babes are easy.....

Disclaimer-This is male bashing rant, and makes unwarranted generalisations. All opinons expressed are strictly those of the writer and are not endorsed by Blogger!

Naija babes are EASY. I am so so tired of hearing this from guys that come back from Nigeria. It really gets me down that the reputation of young ladies at home could not be any worst. Naija babes are sluts, cheap, easy, hoes, gold-diggas, desperate and would sleep with an 80year old for a recharge card. They will have orgies with thier sisters for a bag from Paris. I am tired.

My uncle just got back from Naija a couple of weeks ago, and he was gisting me of all the escapades. He went out to different bars in Lagos with some friends who are supposed Lagos big boys(one of whom is d head of a popular bank and is currently being investigated by EFCC), and they were asking him what sort of babe he would like for the night. he's like nah, I am married, and they laugh at him like arent we all! This friend tells him that any type of babe he wants is just one call away because he knows this GIRL in Unilag that organies babes for nights out. (Biko why is it always Unilag sef??lol)
When my uncle insists that he's not interested, he's like don't worry, lets go to the club, they will come to us. All we have to do is order loads of expensive drinks, and they will flock like bees to a hive. Going out in London with the Nigerian crowd, I have been unfortunate enough to notice this disturbing trend, but my uncle in retelling the story seems shocked that upon ordering the drinks, babes magically drift to their table. "Moet is a hoe's energy drink" is thier motto!LOL. The fact that he is a pot bellied middle aged man did not seem to dissuade them, if anything this was their target market as young boys cannot afford their lifestyles!! My uncle said this trip confirmed his suspicion that he can NEVER live in Nigeria again because"the moral fibre of our society is corrupt, both men and women have no sense of decency, and people are morally degenerated" his words not mine.

My brother also just got back from Naija with stories about girls constantly bugging him. Now I normally take his stories with a pinch of salt cause he seems to think every girl is into him. One time we were at Boots and this pretty attendant asks him if he would like anything, and he replies no, flashing his million dollar smile, and as the babe leaves, he nudges me excitedly, saying, meeeennnnn b, did you see how dat babe was gbaduing me??
Am like dude, relax, she was being nice,
he's like did she come to you to ask if you are allright?? mennn she was all over me like butter on toast......at which point I start walking away and shaking head for him!!lol.
But his stories this time were not filled with pride, but with sadness, like menn dese babes have no respect for themselves, they are filled with no self-worth, and have been taught to believe that they are worth nothing more than their youthful bodies, and milking it is the only way to escape the trap of persistent poverty. I was impressed by his thought process, as not many Nigerian guys think like this.

This is where my problem lies,(and thus my rant begins!). I do not mean to bash the guys but I am TIRED of y'all hating the hoes(lol). Can we show these hoes some lovee?? Like my friend says hoes need love too!!LOL

O.K seriously, me and my mum always debate who the morality of the society rests on, and I always used to agree with my dad. Our argument was that if women are morally upright, they bring up their male and female children in that light and influence a generation. But I was naive to think like this because this is a purely western approach.
In Africa, the men sing the tune of society that women have to dance to. This is not only because of the symbolic value of the man, but because men control the FINANCES. It all boils down to money in Nigeria. Men are the providers, and no matter how women try, they cannot be as financially bouyant as men. In the western world, although they also face considerable difficulty, it is very possible to be wealthy without selling your body.

Now what is messed up in Nigeria, and Africa in general is that the men exploit this, and then have the audacity to call them names. Are you freakingg kidding me?? Are you confused?? You cannot be on both sides of the fence. If you say a woman is a golddigging slut, yet you take a girl shopping just so you can screw her, then you are a hypocrite. These middle aged men drive through unilag etc with thier big cars, big money, big egos and big stomachs to seduce these girls with money theyknow they could never have access to if they read all the books in Unilag library, and then complain that they are whores!! What the fuck??
This is a scenario I read in Baba Alaye's blog:

"When we scream about "moral decay" in the society, i don't think its's that cut and dried.We should look at the whole picture.Are we that morally Bankrupt as a people. No i don't think so. It's Poverty. When you go to bed hungry because you don't have food to eat, and you're not sure where Breakfast is coming from. Your outlook to life changes.It stops being about what the flashy Pastor says you can't do, it becomes a race of Survival. And the odds are daunting.You don't beleive me? Step into any face me i face you house in Lagos for 10 minutes and see how people live, how 15 people squeeze themselves into a room just a little bigger than a Toyota Corolla. How 100+ people shove and fight to use a Maggot infested bathroom in the morning.Then get dressed and jump on a Molue to go to work. All their hopes and dreams dashed, their future mortgaged by Corrupt Politicians and Millitary Despots.. No Medicare, no Electric Power, no food, nothing. Even Dogs at the other more affluent part of town feed better.Poverty amidst plenty

.A lot of these girls want to chart a better future for themselves they see education as a ticket out of abject povert. (role models are all over the place). So they give it their all. They throw everything in it. They use the only thing they've got. They sleep with Lecturers to get admission into school, sleep with lecturers to pass exams, sleep with Aristos to feed, buy handouts, clothe themselves, and they have absolutely no time for broke undergraduate boys trying to run game. (Oloshi olori buruku i'm running away from poverty you wan make i come add your own join? Na Flowers i go chop? you dey craze. Abeg carry your Basketball shirt, and tontirin jeans comot for here before i open my eyes .lol) Baby gurl needs to send money home to feed her siblings and take care of her ailing mother or wharrever.

They finally graduate from school and keep in touch with the numerous Aristos.Her Networking is on point,she's a *cough* "graduate" now, so she gets a job in xyz Bank. Now she's an official Lagos Big Girl. She buys a Honda, moves from Okokomaiko to a Flat at Opebi, She comes to jand for Summer, attends all the Ovation type parrys in Naija, get's herself an Ajebutter Ikoyi boy, The Boy has no idea where she's coming from. All he knows is she cooks well, cleans up his crib, has no qualms washing his clothes, she shows him a few bedroom tricks that blow his socks off, goes to church every Sunday and Wednesday, Bobo is going, going, gone. Next thing na for Wedding Web site you go see them.
That, my friend is the Nigerian dream."

This post illustrates my point. Now I am not condoning or even excusing such behaviour. But men you have to look at it from both perspectives--life in Naija is hard. These men make it too easy to succumb to the Gbogbo Bigz girlz lifestyle.
Picture a converse scenario, a babe does not do any Suga dady runz in schools, leaves with her 1st class but no connections. Ends up in Ministry of Works earning 10,000 salary, half of which goes to transporting herself from her shack in Ilupeju to the Ministry on the Island, not enough to send back to the village to mumy where militants are spraying bullets in her backyard, not enough to send to her younger brother to register for jamb and come and join her in Lagos, not enough to freakin survive. After your mum has spent the better part of life hustling for money to educate you and you have nothing to show for it, you start to throw morality out the back door.
On the other hand, your childhood friend and roomate who failed all her classes but slept with her lecturer to pass now works in some place making big bucks and mixing with the right alhajis, now owns her own flat, car and has enough to send to mumy and siblings in the village. Its an all too typical scenario.
Instead of passing judgement, why dont we ask the men why they are willing to throw away money just to sleep with young girls? It is with them I find the major flaw, and it is for them I shake my head.

Sunday 27 September 2009

The Ex List...

I miss my ex.

I miss the way we used to laugh at the exact same thing at the exact same time.

I miss the way we used to argue about law and legal issues.

I miss the way we used to correct each others coursework while arguing about who was smarter

I miss the way we used to diss the various reigions of Lagos

I miss the way we used to argue about everything and anything

I miss the way I used to tease you everytime your team lost in the premiership

I miss the way we used to plan for you to meet my dad without him killing you

I miss the way you used to stare at me everytime I won an argument

I miss the way you used to make fun of me for sleeping for ages

I miss the way you used to shout on your phone like the person is across the field

I miss the way we both loved to watch yoruba films online even though we always complained abt how terrible they are

I miss the way I used to call you at random times to ask you the capital of a state or other random questions and you would always know

I miss the fact that you were always there for me 24/7 no matter what it was you were doing

I miss the way you never pick your phone becoz its always on vibrate

I miss the way you used to read Nigerian news every morning as soon as you get up

I miss the way you always fed me when I was hungry

I miss the way you used to stutter when you got really passionate

I miss the way you always smelled of cologne all the time

I miss the way you held me so strongly yet so softly

I miss the excitement in your voice everytime you spoke to me

I miss knowing that you were in love with me

I do not miss the lying, the headache and the heartache

I do not miss the stress, the deceit and the dodgey friends

I do not miss the fighting, the inconsistencies and the phoney e-mails

I do not miss the cheating

I do not miss my ex.

Miss B.

Wednesday 23 September 2009


Senile--showing a decline or deterioration of physical strength or mental functioning, esp. short-term memory and alertness, as a result of old age

Hello blogsville,

I bet you are wondering what the title of my post means. Well it basically means old age. I am getting old. I know you are thinking how can a 21yr old think shes getting old, but it is not from my age, it is in the changes I have noticed about myself. I seem to be entering a new phase of my life which is probably why I think its old age. Here are some of the examples:

Comfort over Style- A year or even 6months back, this would have been blasphemous. But lately I have noticed that if somthing is not comfortable, I am less likely to buy it, or wear it if I already own it. I just cant be bothered. This is especially for shoes. I love heels even though I have never been great at walking in them for ages, they are just gorge to look at, esp sky high stilletos. I still love my heels, but now I only go for chunky heels with a platform front so it supports you. For example topshop latest collection of shoes are superbly sexy but soo ridiculously high!!

I have been admiring these on diff people at diff occassions but I just cannot be bothered to be uncomfortable. The same goes with clothes, if i have to keep adjusting it the whole night, or its so tight I know I cannot eat dinner to fit into it then I'll just allow it!! LOL. OMG who am I turning into??

Sleeping During a Movie- Yes I said it. I now sleep during movies. Ok I am sure you all know I love sleep. But lately as soon as I put on a movie and I will start dozzing off. Only Nigerian movies used to have this effect on me, but now it can be anything. Worse still, this year I fell asleep in the cinema with my friend!!! Ok so we both got back from work during my placement in London and decided to go and see Valkyrie just cause of Tom Cruise. OMG how many ways can you say DULL, there was absolutely no action, no hitler, no killing or blood or nothing, just talk talk talk for like 45mins. Ok so my friend started dozing off next to me and I started laughing at her, but next thing I knew I thought I'd put my head on her shoulders and by the time we woke up, they were finally trying to assasinate Hitler instead of just talking about it, so we actually didnt miss anything..LOL!
Bottom line is I love movies and my curiosity to get to the end always keeps me glued(unless its Nollywood), and so I have taken this to mean old age has set in. Just yesterday, I was watching this movie called the Lazarus Project starring Paul Walker(dt guy's career is finished if he continues starring in films like this) and I fell asleep. Its an ok movie, its not enough to keep you hooked, or maybe this is me making excuses for being a granny!

Partying-I am really putting up my dancing shoes and retiring from my party riding days. Notice that I said retiring, I have not completely turned into a granny yet, and do enjoy a night out once in a while with my friends. But lately, I have changed the kind of places I like to go to. Firstly, I will rarely will be bothered to go out unless theres an event happening or we are celebrating something, unlike back in first year when me and my crazy roomate would go in2 any building as long they played something that resembles music and sold drinks, men we once went out for 2 weeks straight and still attended all our lectures at 9.30 in the morning!! When my friend from the States came over, she kept on dissing me cause I always had to be dragged/forced/blackmailed into going out!!

Secondly, if there is no Nigerian music being played, it will be really hard for me to be bothered to go, the crowd has to be mature as I cannot deal with over-zealous, drunk, slutty looking british teenagers anymore. Worst still, I find myself looking at ladies like OMG what is she wearing? isnt that too tight, OMG I can see most of her boobs, (wondering if i offer her my scarf to cover up would she be offended??) and for the guys I cannot bare to see, over-dressed, sunshade wearing, bottle poppin attention seeking dudes anymore. I even find myself shaking head for them like, OMG dey are so sad, is every song be your fave song and dya really have to dance on the table.??? Tut, tut, shaking my head like a granny!! And since these people are usually guranteed at partys, I'd rather just sit at home with friends, eat ice-cream and watch Gossip girl!! I am just not bothered anymore!

It is confirmed-I am now OLD!! Sigh!

Sunday 20 September 2009

500 days of Summer.....

heyy blogsville,
I know, I know I have been m.i.a. I never thought I would say this but I think I am becoming an adult. I have had so much on mind, number one of which is unemployment and the fear thereof. Application forms are boring, hard, long and sooo monotonous. But I can't complain yet cause I still have the grad applications to do, which have these timed tests that I am terrible at. And the worst part of these are the rejections. Sigh! Thus the reason I have been away from blogsville, and yes I know you have missed me, the feeling is definatly mutual!!

Anyway to more exciting stuff, the title of this post is the name of this movie I saw yesterday.

If you guys have not seen this movie, I suggest you do. It is the best rom-com I have seen this summer, considering that me and my friends have seen so many crap ones,(e.g 21 dresses-shitest rom-com ever), we had sadly started giving up on this genre!
Ok what I love about this movie is that the xters are sooo well explored. I mean I know a guy just like the lead guy, and I kinda know a girl like summer--me! Maybe this is why I love it so much. The babe is a free spirit, even though she is a bit of a bitch(unlike me of course)!
But the best part of the movie(if you havn't seen it stop reading now cause I am about to ruin it)---is the end when she tells him why she doesnt want to committ, and be his girlfriend. She basically says I thought I didnt believe in love and would never commit but I didnt believe in love with YOU and couldn't commit to YOU!
OMG genuis!! I had an epiphany at that moment!
I know you guys are thinking errr.....kini big deal right??
But you have to see the movie to get it. Ok so after he's crazy in love with her, and she claims she doesnt believe in relationships and monogamy etc, she goes and marries this next guy she meets in 5 seconds! And we all know of at least one couple that have been dating for ages, and as soon as they break up, you are getting an invite to one of their weddings to some randomer!!

And so it clicked! Sometimes someone seems perfect for you. They have all the qualities you desire and most important they are CRAZY about you, but you just dont feel that "connection", the x-factor, the buzz, whatever it is that makes you blush when you think of the person or makes you smile when you see sheep, or makes you laugh when you hear a paticular song! And the feelings have to be MUTUAL! Naija females especially always say that its better to have someone who is crazy over you, than someone who you are crazy over. While this is true to some extent, there has to be a level of mutuality. Once it is as one sided as it was in this movie, i.e you are completely infatuated and head over heels and this other person is "just there" then its best to RUN. Like lauren in the hills says, Love is not a "maybe" thing, you have to feel you are giving as good as you are getting.

In conclusion go and see this movie! If you dont love it then you suck! lol

Meanwhile I am looking forward to thses rom-com's starring every star on the planet. Should be good.