Thursday 18 June 2009

Violence Against Women......

Ok this post might come off a bit pissy and as a generalisation, but its cause I AM SOOO MAD RIGHT NOW! Am shaking just writing this....

Ok so me and my friends went out for a party that was actually really fun, the music was good, loads of our friends were there, and the alcohol was flowing so everyone was kinda tipsy lol! As we were about to leave, we realized that we had to say bye to our friend, and as we were leaving this guy wants to take a picture of my friends. He is one of those paparrazzi people that takes pictures of people in parties and puts them on facebook. They say no, and try to walk away and he pulls them back and she pushes him away.

And then he proceeds to SLAP HER!

As if this is not bad enough, he pulls her back and SLAPS HER AGAIN AND TRIES TO KICK HER!

In the middle of the freaking club, it is the most SHOCKING AND DISGUSTING ACT I HAVE EVER WITNESSED IN MY LIFE! I have never witnessed my father raise my hand to my mother, and have never seen any sort of domestic violence, so it was too much for me to take in. My friend was shaking and totally worked up, because like me, this kind of thing is a total shock and came out of nowhere. As I speak to you her face is swollen and is being iced up and her tooth is shaking, showing you the gravity of the force he used to hit her.

It is disgusting, pathetic and cowardly that a guy can feel it is justifiable to hit a girl IN PUBLIC over an issue so trivial. I mean she has the right to decide weather or not she wants her picture taken. But even if it was not such an insignificant issue, as far as I am concerned, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that a girl can do or say that warrants a guy to hit a girl in public. FULL STOP!

I am so sick of Nigerian guys at this point I dont know how I will relocate back to Nigeria and not bust a cap in someones head! I mean what is the point of us being in jand and getting a British education when BLACK guys still have the same barbaric mentality. A guy that can slap a girl for this can beat his wife for burning the soup. I am just so tired tired tired of the attitude of my generation because it seems we are just gaining all the bad parts of westernisation and none of the good bits. My generation is greedier, lazier and more uninspired than ever. And this goes for both the guys and girls.

But the worst bit of this fiasco is the fact that the guys just STOOD AND WATCHED as my friend was being violated and humiliated in public. I was the one that had to come in the middle and push the guy away and drag my friend away. I am freaking 5"3 and weigh 57kg, and had to push away this 6ft massive drunk Nigerian guy, while everyone watched. When these stupid guys are supposed to step up and prove that they are men, they just sit by and choose not to get invloved. Is it ok for you to sit and watch a guy attack a girl while you claim it does not involve you?? The answer is and will always be HELL NO!
After I came home and blasted all the guys that were there, they all say the same thing: I would only get invloved if it was someone I know!

Why do we not stand up for anything anymore???

I am so tired of our passive attitude to all issues that matter, we just sit down as we are all violated, robbed, and molested on a daily! The time when Nigerian guys are supposed to use their strength for good, they just stand by and watch. God has made men physically stronger than women, and they should use it only when necessary.
Now dont get me wrong, I dont expect every guy to try and break up fights in Nigerian parties, cause they are not superman and that would be a full time job(meanwhile why is there always a fight at any black party?? dont we really belong in the jungle?).
But this was not a fight, it was a GUY BEATING UP A HELPLESS GIRL! I mean are we for real??

I am just tired, tired, tired, tired.

Like Chixtia's blog says--"Until we, as Nigerians get up and say enough is enough. Until we realize that we deserve much, much, much more than we are getting, until we get to the point of no return, when we are prepared to die for what we believe in- indeed until we believe in anything other than in our personal comfort- we will continue to be led by our noses"


  1. lollllllll!!!!!!! nw u knw y i neva feel like goin 4 all dose ghetto ass nija parties u keep tryin 2 drag me 2!!!!..on a serious note, we chics need 2 stop contradictin ourselves by claimin on one hand dt tings r changin yet expectin it 2 remain d same, as in we claim our bruvs r gettin weaker, lazier n dumber by d second *to which i totally concur* yet we get pissd off wen dey actually prove us rite *club scene perfect xample* was ur frnd havin an outer body xperience wen dis was happenin? wat xactl were her hands, teeth and 6 inch heels *wat otha weapons dyu need?* doin while dis was goin on? i dnt condone violence in any form watsoeva bt sumtimes a girl needs 2 shed her bouji persona n get downrite jetli on sum people!!!

  2. Hmm.

    I would like to suggest two things:

    1. That you name and shame the idiot. Let us know who he is so we can all treat him the social pariah he ought to be.

    2. That your friend enlist the help of an older male relative or friend and have the guy either arrested or beaten up. In fact, take pictures and have any of her lawyer friends file a lawsuit on her behalf.

    The truth is, if you and her do nothing, then you have helped perpetuate the cycle of violence. Unfortunately with a partiarchal society like Naija, you often need to enlist the aid of another male to get some justice.


  3. I totally agree with Anonymous, take legal action against the guy, and if you can't.....well get some people to teach him a bloody lesson!

  4. aww bee take it easy
    this is a shock
    as in no one did anything
    no one?
    where da hell was dat?
    n who da hell was he?
    just put his name somewhere... anywhr
    cos if by mistake he happens to b on our frndslist we need to do some auto delete
    n of cos shame him some more
    hws ur frnd feeling?
    i hope its not yankee babe ohhhh
    hmmm or else! i will personally...

  5. At first I thought it was Naija but Yankee, gosh!!! You need to do something against the guy, who slaps a lady this days? only in Naija. I know how you feel, am with you. Guys no matter the circumstances have no right to humilate a lady.

  6. Seriously this happened for Yankee,
    SUE HIM!
    what has this world turned into that a male stranger shall lay his hands on me like he owns me?
    Bring this fool out to the open.

  7. u know its not just black men that do it right?