Thursday, 13 August 2009

M.I Interview....


Mr Incredible Revealed
Hey bville, just thought I'd share a question and answer session with Mc extraodinaire of the moment Mr Incredible aka MI . This session was brought to you courtesy of the drive time show with Gbemi on the Beat99.9 fm.

Q: What was the last book you read?
MI: The Bible, I read it cause I needed to mark reference for some lines I'm about to drop.

Q: What movies have you watched more than five times.
MI: That would have to be Love Actually,Notting Hill..Well im a bit of a rom com fan . oh and Jayz’s performance at Glastonbury.

Q: What did you last steal..as in what item have you stolen of recent.
MI: That would have to be my mums jewelry….yes I'm shamed face…actually stole it for a girlfriend..cant mention her name just incase she is listening

Q: Have you ever been heartbroken?
MI: Yes I have been. I think it was back in 2000 or there-about

Q: So tell us,are you in a relationship at the moment?
MI: No im not.

Q: What about you and Kel
MI: Shout out to Kel my baby mama....jokes im joking but na we never dated.

Q: If you could date any woman in naija who would it be?
MI: That would be Rita Dominic..and no jokes men I think she is Hot!!

Q: What did you first buy after you had your big break?
MI: That would be a car

Q: What model was it…oh what would be your dream car?
MI: Ha..that is an X6 a BMW X6

Q: Where would you love to travel to that you have not been to already?
MI: I would like to have one of those hoidays where you rent a bicycle and go backpacking around,like in Italy for a year or something like that.

Q: What would be your dream collaboration both nationally and internationally?
MI: Nationally I think Asa…and Dbanj but yeah im friends with Dbanj so that might just happen soon..im actually friends with a couple of them guys 2face,Banky W..actually myself and Banky W workout together


Q Ohhh can I come watch.....
MI: LOOL, ..Then internationally ..I would like to work with my man Kanye men….

Q: Boxers or Briefs?
MI : Boxers

Q: Cats or Dogs?
MI: Dogs I’m actually about to get a bulldog.

Q: Whats you favourite food?
MI: Pounded yam and eforiro soup..men my top three meal would be pounded yam with draw soup and pounded yam with another soup.

Q:What is your favourite colour?
MI: The point at which blue and green met.

Q: Who are your best friends?
MI: JC Cell and Ice prince

Q: Who is your role model?
MI: That would be my Father.

Q: Do you think you are a role model?
MI: By default yes I think to a certain extent and I must add its intimidating.

Q: Could you share any crazy groupie stories?
MI: Yeah there was one chic,I can actually mention her name Ada, and she was trying to show off how much of a party girl she was by drinking a lot and she ended up fallin asleep in her own vomit…Oh and if there is an ada standing next to you saying she is not the one..then she probably is…

Q: How old are you,or should we say how young are you?
MI: Well lets just say im older than 25 but younger than 28

Q: So whats your spec in women?
MI: For me its all about having a great mind and a great behind..thats our ability to hold a deep conversation.

Q:Have you got any bad habits that you would rather not have.
MI: That would probably be biting my nails.

Q: Are you right or left handed?
MI: Right handed

Q: Do you have any body parts that you are insecure about?
MI: Well I guess I already know Im not a fine boy ..so im really not sure.

Q: If you could have any super powers what would they be?
MI: I'cd be invincible

Q: Have you ever dated anyone taller than you?
MI: Yeah I have ,she was actually taller and older than me…she was about 6inches taller and 4 years older .

Q: What is your favourite female body part?
MI: Well I want to own an Aston Martin one day and I really like astronauts..you get my drift.. lol…(errrrr.....ok)

All in all Mr incredible came off as a very pleasant guy and really down to earth and funny…ok ok maybe this is my own groupie story….We'll keep trying to get our own personal interview so we can ask him all the questions you naijadaydreamer followers want to ask him… Check out his new song “God bless you” which he said was written about himself and how he feels when he is constantly on the road and he finally gets back home to family and friends ..and cough cough..Her…...

Miss LC..
Xoxo

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Worries....

Heyy blogsville,
I know I havn't posted any write-up in a long time. I just never have time to sit down in one-spot. I have been crazy busy, but I have so much ramdon thoughts to write about.

The title is based on this post by Linda Ikeji, one of my fave bloggers, and it definately moved me. She was brutally honest and genuine, and I admire her so much more now. I usually found her blog more like a magazine, and less like a blog, but this post erases that perception. I have been having the same problem with my posts. Because my blog is not anonymous, and has put me in trouble several times(yes I have gotten calls from random people about my posts), it means I am more and more careful about what I write. I have been avoiding putting any personal stuff on it, and focused on writing articles, kinda like Linda's blog. But like she said, there is not point having a blog and not being able to express yourself, so I will try to hold back as little as possible now. Here goes nothing::

I am worried. I am at cross roads in my life, and I am not sure what to do. Majority of the big decisions in my life have been taken in conjuction with my parents. Thankfully, they have never directed me wronglly, and I have no regrets. But it has gotten to the stage where they always ask me what I want, and the truth is that I do not know. I have a rough idea but I do not know for sure. I am constantly second guessing myself and in doubt, and it is a shit feeling. I am worried about:

My dissertation- It is proving difficult and elusive. As usual, I left it to the last minute, so I have 2weeks to write on a topic that I have barely researched on because I was working most of the summer in London. I am just hoping for a pass right now.

Getting a job- This is my biggest worry. I am even scared of completing my dissertation because then I have to figure out what to do next. Right now I am hoping to get a job here and work till next year June before I go to law school. But there is the option of going back home and starting my NYSC. This is not something I want to do right now, but the prospects of getting a satisfying job are very very slim, especially in law. Legal jobs are so hard to get, it is unbelievable. The truth is that I am not really interested in working a random 9-5 job just to get by, as I know it is only a matter of time before I get bored and want to jump out of the office window. I am restless and constantly need a challenge to stay sane. If only I could get paid to blog all day........dreams.......
The other option is to do the LPC and become a qualified lawyer here, I am not really interested in doing that, as I do not see the point if I am not going to stay here in the long-run. Besides, it is mostly property, equity and public law which I hated during my undergrad, and I dont want to go through that again. I think I want to work for now.
I hate cross-roads. I have never been in a position where I do not know what I am doing next, and it is a shit feeling.

Homelessness-I get kicked out of my apartment in 2 weeks, to co-incide with the end of uni, and I am homeless. I might have no choice but to live my relatives, and that is definately a last resort. Because I do not know where I might get a job, I do not want to get another flat here, and be stuck with a 6months tenancy that I do not need. I love having my own space so this sucks.

Relationships-This year has been so dramatic in the love department. Too many guys have come and gone, and I have again come to my conclusion that Nigerian guys are mostly useless, lol. Miss L.C always says it is not about quantity but about quality, and the quality around is so low, its almost non-existent. I have met so many guys that are so full of shit that it is part of thier DNA! But at the same time, I have met several special guys that have given me alot of love(and troubles). I am worried that I am losing my faith in the male species, and losing the belief of finding the one. I am worried that I will never find someone I can be in love with long enough to get committed to, or worse still get married. Which leads to my other problem: I get bored so easily. I find it exciting when I meet someone new, and I am getting to know them, feeling infatuated, and then ............I get bored. It is a pattern with me, that few guys have been able to break. I am worried that a time will come when I will find someone great but will eventually get bored!

Settling Down-I am worried about the thought of having to commit to one person for the rest of my life. The thought of forever and ever daunts me like crazy. I was at my cousins wedding in New York a week ago, and everyone kept praying for my own time to come, and it was all so funny to me. At least I have the excuse of school now, once I start working, the calls from my mum, aunts and relatives will start piling in, like they have for all my older cousins and it worries me. The worst part is that those same cousins that went through the whole thing and were complaining are the ones giving me the same lecture about settling down. This also brings me to my next worry

Flirting- I am a flirt. It is a problem I have had since the day I discovered boys. Also I find it challenging when a guy I am flirting with does not respond. I take it as a personal affront and do not take rejection very well. This is a very deadly combination. I have yet to find a guy who I like enough to make stop me flirting with other guys. Therefore I am worried that if I do settle down, I will have to stop flirting, and I do not know how. And no, I am not a slag!LOL

Health- I am worried about my health. Lately, I have been very well, but I am worried it will not last. Most importantly, I am worried that I when I move back to Nigeria, I will not have access to the medicines and healthcare I have here. Coupled with the threat of Malaria and other tropical diseases, I am worried I will cannot cope there anymore.

Writing- I am worried that I am not a good writer. Because I love writing and reading so much, I constantly compare myself to other amatuer writers such as S.B and my fear that I do not measure up seem to be getting greater. I was recently asked to write for a Nespaper in london, and I have not been able to submit anything because like I said earlier I have a fear of rejection(is there a dictionary word for that fear lol)

Failure-And finally, I have a fear of failure. Because I am drifer and dreamer, I have never had one direction/focus. I love/enjoy so many things that I have always had a fear of being a jack of all trades. I never stick at one thing long enough to be great at it. I am always average.The best example is sports. I have done fencing, badmington, table tennis, yoga, pilates and lately swimming. But I never go for more than 10 classes in any of them before I get bored and give up!LOL I am worried that this will be a life pattern. I guess I can console myslef becauseI have never quit school. I just hope I dont give up on this blog someday!

Those are my worries, it feels good to share!
xoxo
Miss B.

Monday, 10 August 2009

Cash or Credit 6.......UPDATED

Cash or Credit 5 can be found HERE!

We adjusted Part 6 and so this is the new one! Enjoy!

8.00pm

Thursday evening 49 Bode-Thomas Street Surulere.

The grey Peugeot pulled up the pattern imprinted driveway and Jen hopped out of the backseat with a wave goodbye at Mr and Mrs John. Turning 360 degrees, Jen surveyed her surroundings; they say you can tell a lot about a person from their home so maybe this centre hall plan brick house with double porches could tell her about“You are all mine now” Esosa interrupted her thoughts with an evil laugh.Jen suppressed a laugh and continued to study her whereabouts.
The rectangular planned building with the symmetrically placed window openings and centred entrance seemed to rise from the curved driveway. The door was plain wood illuminated by sidelights and the windows were likewise without ornamentation, having only a sill of wood in the same tone around the edges. The only decorative elements were at the cornice on the roof where the bricks were set at an angle in a corbelled effect.
“Jennifer come here” Esosa said speaking slowly and gesturing into the house.
“Your roof is very pointed” Jen said not moving an inch
“Into the house Jen” Esosa repeated
“No dog barking. I thought you'd have a dog”
Esosa marched down and placing his hands on both her shoulders dragged her into his home. “Shouldn’t you have brought me flowers?” he enquired taking her sweater and placing it at the back of the only sofa in the room.
“Wow u used bricks for your dwelling inside as well” Jen continued to look round“You know what happened to the pigs who built theirs out of hay and straw” Esosa said with a knowing look. Jen smiled and pretended to huff and puff.The red stone tiles laid on the floor stretched out from the welcome mat at the door and down the hall, marking out the entire living area. On one side of the hallway a large corner dark blue sofa that looked comfortable enough to sit at least six dominated the area facing the large TV squarely. Jen found that surprising as she didn’t think Esosa watched a lot of television. Adjacent to the television was a reclining reading chair with foot stool and two dark wood bookshelves which bore heavy hardcopies of titles ranging from Dumas's Three Musketeers to Soyinka’s The Interpreters. Ah now this is what she expected to see. Jen ran her fingers along the titles counting the ones she'd heard of: Ngũgĩ wa Thiong'o, Shakespeare, Mazuri, Achebe, Chinodya, Defoe, Fitzgerald, Amadi, Bronte, Dickens, Twain, Wilde…Jen’s finger stalled at Austen raising an eyebrow, Esosa calmly placed his copy of Pride & Prejudice underneath a copy of Rich Dad, Poor Dad
“You did not see that” he said softly.
Jen carried on shaking her head; as she continued to roam, her finger had gathered no dust all through its travels. Esosa read everything from politics- Social Statistics by Spencer & White’s Utopia- to sociology- Understanding Classical Sociology by Marx.
“Where is your Harry Potter?” Jen said half-jokingly
“Upstairs with the rest of my books” Esosa responded seriously
“The rest of them…?” Jen looked at the books on display
“The books I have already read and enjoyed are the ones you see here. These ones on the top shelf are those I am yet to read.”
Jen looked through the titles on the top shelf, The Thing Around Your Neck, Book Thief and Time Traveler’s Wife.Jen understood that, Esosa was a man who surrounded himself with memories and things that mattered to him. She already knew that the flowery blue material on the lamp shade on the side-table was sewn by his step-mother, probably the light blue covers for the throw pillows scattered on his sofa as well.
“So if you enjoy it then you place it here, to be read again later but if you don’t…?” she asked
“I donate it to the library”
Jen gave all titles another quick glance, “you only have the tragedies of Shakespeare.”“He writes much better about the sad stuff”“That's disturbing Esosa”
Jen said“A redeeming factor” Jen picked up the copy of Gulliver’s Travels from atop a cushion. The pages were dog-eared and the cover worn. It had obviously been read a 1001 times.
“So you want to meet the Lilliputians” she asked with a sweet smile. Esosa looked confused for a while then he followed Jen's gaze
“No that’s for my brother Osaze. I swear he’s read it 20 times”
Seeing as Esosa didn’t exaggerate Jen believed him. She was also interested to meet the person whose favourite book involved meeting tiny people.
“Where is your brother? Is he here?”
“Want to see the rest of the house?” Esosa jumped up agilely ignoring her question.On the opposite side of the hallway was the wet bar and stairs which led upstairs. The wide distressed mirror reflected the wine and whiskey glasses that hung in wooden rafters above a clear table top. The air conditioner hoisted was on the wall beside it. The table top was cool to touch and transparent, Jen walked over and looked through to see drinks sitting on ice. Esosa reached in and grabbed her Maltina taking the top off in the inbuilt bottle-opener at the bottom. He offered a straw but she refused. Jen could see him doing this most nights after work proceeding to his reading chair and switching on the lamp to immerse himself in a book.Jen followed Esosa down the hall; the first door was a pantry lit by an exposed bulb. It was narrow as a broom cupboard and as tall as she was; but it housed tubers of yam and sacks of potato and rice. Clear nylons displayed egusi seeds and beans, stored with pepper to preserve the freshness. The final door was the kitchen; long room which had wooden drawers and a wide white porcelain sink. Behind the gas hob was exposed brick work adding character to the room. The net door at the other end led out into the backyard and Jen could see Esosa’s AYGO parked safely.
Doubling back Esosa led Jen up the wooden staircase to reveal yet another long hallway with doors at opposite ends. Esosa pointed down the right as his room and towards his left as the bedroom. Looks like Osaze slept on the couch.
Jen walked in the direction of his bedroom with Esosa muttering “I don't know what you are hoping to find”.
He switched on the low ceiling lights as she walked through the door and the twisted iron wrought headboard gave the Queen sized bed an impressive stance. It was centred as the focus point and covered in sky blue sheets with four fluffy pillows. The built in glass sliding wardrobes also doubled as a mirror but she was sure Esosa put it in merely to reflect the light coming from his window. It had no curtains but merely two shutters, one for shade and ventilation and the other for complete black-out. Jen looked at his view of the commercial street, the street lamps shone on cyber cafes, bars and coffee joints. Down the street she could see the bus depot as well.
“I can see your whole day in my head” Jen said from the window
“Good.” Esosa said “Let’s hear it”
“You get up pretty early, stretch by the foot of the bed here” Jen pointed to the right side of the bed “kneel and pray here…”
“Pray?” Esosa asked.
In response Jen pointed to the Bible that poked out from under his pillows.
“Walk down the hall to brush your teeth, telling your brother to get up while leaning on the banister.”
“So far so good” Esosa encouraged
“Get dressed while Osaze makes breakfast and drop him off at the bus depot. You probably pick him up too on your way back from work, and then afterwards he watches TV while you read by your lamp. You each take turns getting the drinks”
“Wow sounds pretty boring”
“Sounds stable” Jen reassured
“Ok Madam detective, dinner” Esosa called from the doorway with an amused smile.He led her further down the hall and through a narrow archway, which Jen hadn’t seen as they climbed the stairs, and into an open flat space. Esosa stepped out first. It hung by the side of the house as a sort of extension to the building. Jen gave Esosa a look“Its safe” he reassured. Jen didn’t move from the archway“See” Esosa demonstrated by jumping up and down on the concrete floor, supported by steel beams. Jen summoned up the courage and walked onto it.
The balcony was a large space- almost as large as the whole lounge downstairs. Tall metal railings ran along the edges, doubling as a protective barrier and a seating area. The space was bare apart from a circular wooden table and two chairs. The white tablecloth that was draped across the table lifted in the wind and two dark blue coolers rested heavily to stop it soaring away. It was much cooler out here and Jen wished she held on to her sweater.
“This is why the roof top is so pointed” Esosa said pulling out a chair. As she sat, Esosa said “Oh the drinks. Please wait here” He rushed through the archway and Jen heard his feet on the stairs. Standing up she walked to the edge to better examine the view from all sides and saw a large plot of land with an uncompleted building and a kiln. Neighbours she thought, it’s a shame that Esosa won't have this 360 view for long but on the upside this terrace provided an even greater view of the commercial district. Jen people watched as Lagosians bought suya and grooved to the music drifting out of the joint.
“Be careful” Esosa warned as he returned with two bottles of red wine and her sweater. Sometimes Jen thought he was telepathic. Jen tugged on her sweater and sat back down as he once again pulled out her chair and laid the drinks carefully on the table.
“You have a great view. I’m jealous” Jen sulked
“Thank you” Esosa smiled “You enjoy people watching more than I do anyway”. He lifted the covers and the aroma of jollof rice wafted into the air. Handing Jen the serving spoon, he also gestured to the smaller cooler revealing thickly cut pieces of meat in a sauce garnished with farm vegetables. The carrots, peas, runner beans, red and green peppers looked so good that Jen’s tummy rumbled like it had not been fed just an hour ago. She dove in and served herself while Esosa poured the wine into their glasses. The pitcher of water that stood on the table beside the coolers was ignored and with each breeze the ice cubes and lemon pieces swirled lonely in the water. As usual the conversation came light and easy, Jen praised his food and he begged her to admit that he was a better cook than she was. They laughed a lot and after scraping her plate- no need to front- Jen and Esosa sat on a red woven mat close to the edge of the balcony to spy on unsuspecting Lagosians. Giggling like naughty teenagers they formulated stories for everyone that passed by: secret chocoholic, in love with the girl next door, planning a nuclear attack on Switzerland, hates cheese, loves cookies…They laughed so loudly that a tipsy bald man looked up at the roof and in his drunken haze invited them both to his mansion. “No thank you” they chorused as the man danced to D’banj singing the lyrics of Fall in Love to Jennifer. She sang back to him as Esosa negotiated a price on her head, they got all the way to ₦6000 when the first drops of rain started to fall.
The lightning in the distance streaked powerfully across the sky, indicating they won't be able to weather the storm and hurriedly they got up rolling the mat and packing up empty coolers and plates downstairs. True to Lagos, the downpour got heavy quickly as the heavens blessed the land with a month of rain at once. Esosa insisted Jen remain downstairs while he brought down the table and chairs. Jen stubbornly climbed up halfway before deciding she didn’t want a lecture and veered off into the bathroom.
Turning on the light she gazed around the room. The bathroom was a good size and the bathroom fixtures gleamed. The white linear pedestal basin, back to wall WC and overhead sliding mirror unit shone as the illuminated mirror brought her face into sharp focus.Jen thought she would look like crap...for lack of a better word; she had not touched up her make-up since she first put it on this morning, her sweater was two sizes larger than she was and she was sure she smelt like the traffic she was stuck in on her way home. It didn’t matter to Jen; she was coming to see Esosa after all so there was no need for fuss; another difference between tonight and her date with Kabir where she had spent hours preening. Also, despite being as quick as they could retreating from the balcony as nature took Jen still got partly drenched in the rain, so it was a complete shock when the reflection in the mirror was almost beautiful in its messiness. Her hair was damp and had turned partly wavy in its wetness, the curls bounced off her cheeks- which shone- and the strands dripped water on the tiled floor. The now soggy sweater clung to her breasts in a way Jen had never seen it do before and her lips kissed by the first rain for months looked wet and inviting. Her long ago applied rosy lip balm had sprung to life once again and Jen ran her tongue over her lower lip, causing something or the shadow of something to stir in her belly. Jen didn’t want to admit it but since the Kabir incident she had stopped viewing herself as anything but someone who worked at Holloway Grove. Yes, she got dressed but lost her self-confidence, she certainly no longer thought of herself as pretty…till now...Staring at her reflection in the bathroom in Esosa's house she felt absolutely gorgeous even with her mascara not exactly in place. Maybe it’s because its Esosa's mirror a little voice said.
Jen pushed it aside when she heard his voice at the door “You can’t hide in there forever”“Yes I can” Jen replied opening the door and smiling. Esosa pulled her out gently “Seriously with the rate this rain is going the electricity will give out soon. I want you where I can see you”“I want you where I can see you” Jen repeated in a bad imitation of his voice. He nudged her playfully as they walked downstairs turning on the light. Jen sat on one end of the sofa comfortably as he switched on the reading lamp in the room casting the shelves in spotlight; Jen and Esosa exchanged a look as the rain begins to thunder heavily on the roof- really heavily.
“What time did you planning on leaving because this looks like it might go on for a while? First rain of the season” Esosa said. Jen looks at her watch- 10.00pm- she should be leaving around now to be honest but as the thunder boomed loudly Jen didn’t see how that was going to be possible. Esosa lay on the opposite end of the sofa looking happily at her. He looked smug.
Jen calls her mom and manages through the sketchy reception to make out her warnings to stay put.“They are saying it will flood” her mom yells down the receiver“This country is never prepared for anything” her dad complains. Jen assumed she must be on speaker phone.“I am just saying I might make it home late” Jen enunciated her words“No please stay where you are. If the rain stops fine but if it doesn’t we’ll just see you in the morning” her mom said and her dad agreed. Jen hangs up and meets Esosa’s look“Okay, your parents are very liberal” he said
“My mom thinks I’m over at Meg’s” Jen answered not meeting his gaze“So you lied” Esosa said slowly
“Yes” Jen answered softly
“Interesting”
Jen throws a pillow at him, he throws it back at her, so she fires two at once, he dodges them both like a pro and pulls her foot sliding her across the couch. Screaming Jen grabs onto the arm rest with her fingernails and springboards on his abs, aiming she lunges the last throw pillow in her arsenal square into his face. Esosa takes the hit and grabbing onto her bare feet slides her even further down, laughing Jen bumps into him and Esosa tickles her till she’s out of breath. Gasping Jen takes stock of her position, her legs were pinned down with his knee and his right hand imprisoned both her palms. They were both wet and panting; Esosa’s eyes locked on her mouth and Jen thought right about now would be a good time to move away, so she did.
Esosa let her go immediately perhaps sensing her hesitation, as soon as she was released Jen started to think that maybe being in bondage would be great. Her body enjoyed the uncomfortable position it had been twisted in. She locked eyes with him not saying a word and Esosa fastened her knees in the position it had previously been in, Jen made no noises as with a gentle jerk Esosa brought her to him, his knees around her back. Jen did not uncross her arms or stop frowning; they were playing a game now; Esosa uncrossed her arms and laid her palms on his chest one after the other. Bringing his head to hers, he laid his fore-head on her hair, breathing in the scent of rain. Stylishly giving her time to refuse, Jen did not move- this was a night of possibilities right?
Give us your best shot Oyakilhome.Esosa as if hearing her thoughts bit her lower lip, Jen sighed. This was different, she thought he would be gentle but he was manhandling her instead. It felt good Jen craved the friction; his lips abused hers and continued to lay havoc as her forgotten hormones awoke with a jolt.As his mouth became rough on hers and her breathing quickened the lights went out with a pop!
Shouts of NEPA from passersby were yelled up and down the avenue and in his living room was darkness so thick that Jen could barely make out his features although her lips were still pressed to his and his nose was against her cheek .This should be awkward she thought and waited for her palms to get sweaty as she became self-conscious but instead a giggle escaped her lips, Jen tried to stall it but it grew more frantic and a second later Esosa chuckled alongside. They laughed in the darkness at the sheer silliness of the situation and Jen’s shoulders rose and fell with laughter till she felt his mouth against hers once more; she gasped his tongue slid in. Jen marvelled at the yoga dance they got into. Her brain was not completely shut off but her body had a mind of its own and it curved into his chest with her arms interlocking around his neck. Jen could hear his heart thudding away at rapid speed as if begging to be set free, his calloused palms slid under her sweater, under her shirt and up her back, her skin bucked at his touch and Jen kissed more furiously tasting wine and spices on his tongue. Now it was his turn to be surprised and her lips felt beginnings of a smile tug the corners of his mouth. It became heated, the rain poured even harder around the house, the wind rushing in from the only slightly ajar window but the lounge suddenly became very steamy. They were going to be here awhile, there was no rush and take their time ripping each other apart with enraging desire. If it would go farther than kissing and groping on the sofa Jen wasn’t sure. Maybe they weren’t ready, but for now Jen pushed herself harder against Esosa almost moulding herself to him, his lips taking from her as his hands cautiously crept up her flat stomach towards her bra.......
“Why is it so dark in here?” a voice from the doorway. Jen and Esosa bump heads as they are surprised by the interruption. They lay still for a second, panting and trying to get a bearing on their surroundings. Jen quietly untangles herself from Esosa and hurriedly readjusts her attire, patting her hair into place. Esosa takes deep breaths to calm himself down.


“My God it’s pouring outside” a voice came from directly behind them just as the front door shut and the emergency electric lamp was switched on bringing the face into focus.Osaze was home.



By S.B

Monday, 27 July 2009

Airport Drama......

Heyy blogsville,

You'll never guess what happened when I went to pick my friend from the airport. It was a LIVE Nigerian film!!! I was at terminal 5 and there was a B.A flight going to Abuja and there was queue to check in. So this fresh looking man, looked about 50, dressed in Agbada was at the bussiness class section. With him was this model looking babe, as per tall, slim, light skinned with a great figure, looked about 23. She had a nice weave, great style and sexy heels, in short shawtey was a 10!!
She was helping the man with their expensive luggage when this lady and her friend walk from thier queue up to them and yells:

Woman: FEMI!!!
Femi: "Heyy Bisi" he stutters looking abit confused and turning his head side to side like he's checking for another person.....
Woman: FEMI!!!
Femi: Heyy, how are you doin......
Woman: FEMI YOU ARE A USELESS MAN......
Femi: Ahn ahn....
Woman: IS THIS THE BUSSINESS TRIP TO FRANCE THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING???? WHO IS THIS ONE???
Femi: Ahn ahn, Noo, this is my little cousin, she is just going back with me to school oh.....
The young girl then says: Good evening Ma......
Woman: SHUT UP......PROSTITUE, SHOULD YOU NOT BE IN SCHOOL?
The lady's friend then says: Yes, all these young girls of nowadays.....
Woman:FEMI YOU ARE A USELESS MAN
Femi: Bisi why are you saying this, I am telling you that she is just my cousin and we are coming from......"he says all flustered and stammering, sweating profusely
Woman: So my poor friend is at home with your child and you are here with this THING, Ahn FEMI YOU ARE A USELESS MAN!

As this is going on, the hot babe just gradually fades, and next thing she disappears from the scene completely!!!!
As the FEMI continues to get publicly harrased by the woman and her friend, everyone on the queue is giggling and gossiping, and I was laughing my head off!!! As I was leaving the security started strolling over cause it was getting kinda noisy, and these days in the airport any slight upset gets people in trouble.
It was so melodramatic and was straight out of a nollywood script. I kinda felt sorry for the guy cause he was one of those people that was obviously new to this pimping game. If it was a normal Nigerian woman juggler, the woman could never have tried that kind of drama. He would have snobbed her or insulted her back sef, even the babe if she had liver would have just boned and not been so scared!

But it was toooo much jokes and definately made my day. Chai I love Naija people!!!!

Friday, 24 July 2009

Love Quagmire.........

Quagmire- a situation from which extrication is very difficult, a state of perplexity or uncertainty, esp. as to what to do; dilemma

Heyy blogsville,
I know I have been M.I.A for a minute but Naijadaydreamer has been ill :-(( Flowers and teddies are most welcome!!lol
But as you can see, I am in a dilema. I am stuck in what is called the classic love triangle. Now I know how it is possible for polygamous marriages to work, because I now think it is possible to love two people just as much. Maybe not equally but just as much. Everyone knows I always argue for falling in love and staying with ONE person but mennnnnn, now I'm not so sure.......

Do you guys think it is possible to like two people??? And what rule says we can't date two people sef?? I think it is time we say no to monogamous relationships LOL......


xoxo

Friday, 17 July 2009

ReBirth Handbags

Anyone who knows Miss B, SB and myself, would also know how much we LOVE!! handbags .From Miss B’s first coach bag, to SB’s DKNY in sixth form, next to shoes I personally think handbags are a girls best friend. Handbags can completely change a casual tank top on a pair of jeans from boring casual to chic fab. So it only made sense that our second feature interview be with an up and coming handbag designer.

Funmi Adeyeri is a talented designer that makes a gyal just want to hyperventilate at her gorgy bags!!!!!!. On Saturday the 4th of July 2009, Adeyeri launched her new collection of handbags with a tasteful show at TerraKulture Victoria Island. These handbags speak of a gracefulness and style beyond the designer's years. From the ethnic reminiscent Renee to the urban chic Elsa,
each bag sent a message across. Like a chameleon they were both sensual, elegant and practical all in one . Each bag represented the different lifestyles and need of your every day woman.

Adeyeri presented women with a new staple piece for both your average daytime look to your classy nite time look.
Funmi Adeyiri

The collection displayed a high level of creativity and exquisite taste. Each bag tells its own personal story with its handmade premium quality Italian leathered exterior to the exquisite linen of the interior . The various handbags each hold a personal piece of the designer through their names which were gotten from Adeyeri’s list of favourite names.

I can not over emphasise the quality of the craftsmanship with these bags. Simply put the bags were just simply FABOULOUS!!!!! To attest to this there is a 3 month waiting list for the bags, but I assure you the wait is well worth it. As we all know there is no time line for a timeless piece of accessory and the ReBirth collection is definitely timeless. To end this I would like to quote the words of Adeyeri whilst describing Handbags.

“A bag defines a woman, it becomes a part of her. An object of love and desire that holds her world” Funmi ADEYERI





After a bit of a hassle from lagos communication , I was able to have a brief interview with the very warm Miss Adeyeri. Enjoy ……..

LC: Thanks for making time out after such a busy day lastnite.
FA: No worries ,its my pleasure.
LC: So ill go straight to the drill and try and keep it brief. Who is Funmi Adeyeri?
Funmi Adeyeri is a designer.
LC: What made you become a designer?
FA: I always knew I would become a designer. I have had a very strong love for the Leather skin from my early childhood years. Following my university degree and securing a job as a project manager at IBM it wasn’t too long when I realized my life was missing out on self fulfillment.
Soon after, I enrolled for a course in leather craft at the London school of fashion. Throughout the course I was able to learn from the best on the fundamentals of leather craft; how to penetrate several markets and what it takes to gain sustainable advantage in competitive markets such as the Nigerian market

LC: Did you go through any professional training?
FA: Yes, I took a full time course in leather craft at London School of Fashion.

LC: I just have to ask, why handbags? As opposed to the more popular line of fashion clothes?
FA: What can I say that’s my niche, it’s my passion; I absolutely ENJOY designing and creating BAGS; the finished products become my babies because I watched them grow from their raw form. Also my creative clock is constantly ticking when it comes to bag ideas, concepts and designs.
Maybe ReBirth would diversify into clothes in the future, who knows,but that’s a MAYBE.....

LC: How do you see the handbag market in Nigeria?
FA: Penetration is really hard because as we know Nigerians love their named/Couture bags. However I think the secret to breaking such a market is producing a product that has its own unique selling point.
Ask yourself why they would rather buy a ReBirth bag and not a Louis Vuitton, what type of buyers am I targeting, what are the best ways of promoting your brand. You would realize that once these questions have been answered it becomes easy to create a product that sells itself in Nigeria.

LC: Speaking with you I can tell you are very driven.What motivates you? What pushes you to keep striving for higher heights?
FA: I believe it’s my constant desire as a young Nigerian designer, to create something new and fresh for the global market and most importantly the deep passion for what I do


LC: I can definitely see that passion. However how hard was it to produce in retail quantity?
FA: It’s a lot of hard work and great attention to detail. Initially I personally made and sold bags in retail quantity, I still do. However following several activities one of which is the launch in Nigeria which was a huge success thanks to my wonderful team, my bags are receiving enormous acceptance/orders from the public i.e wholesalers. With that I have had to employ a team of European craftsmen to assist in bag production

LC: What do you thinks sets your handbags apart from other bags available in the market?
FA: Unlike several bags in today’s market, ReBirth bags are individually handmade and sport a classy, unique design. Pure shapes and unmistakable cuts are trademarks of my collection and also the fact that all the bags in my collection are timeless and will be a source of envy for many seasons to come. I spent a lot of my time on the drawing board sketching designs for my collection. These designs appeal to all kinds of women, tailored to comfort and timeless longetivity.




LC: Ok OK, enough with the marketing…we are all besotted with your bags ,how can we get our greedy claws on a Pair, now this question is for both indigenous residence and also clients abroad?
FA: We should have a list of ReBirth stockist in Nigeria and UK placed on the website soon for anyone who wants access to one the bags.
The website is http://www.rebirthcollection.com/
Also our contact number is Nigeria: +234 (0) 702 614 7763 UK: +44 (0) 208 845 5750

LC: Finally do you have any advice for aspiring designers?
FA: FOLLOW YOU HEART, LIVE YOUR DREAM PRAY HARD and most importantly believe in you
































We at naijadaydreamer have constantly stressed the need for understanding your craft as a necessity for success in whatever you do. Funmi has displayed this understanding and passion through her line and we hope she achieves the success she desires. For any further information on the ReBirth collection please contact:
info@rebirthcollection.com

Miss LC
xoxo

Tuesday, 14 July 2009

Idris Elba aka Mr Right

OMG I loveeee Idris Elba!!!! He is just toooo damn HOTTT! I just watched Daddy's Little girls(again) and he looks sexier everytime I watch it. Usually I like my pretty boys but he just has this RAW manliness(is that a word?) that just makes me LOOSE IT!

O.K I need to calm down but look at this beautiful piece of art......














mmmmmmmmmmmmm...........................
Enjoy
xxx

Monday, 13 July 2009

DON'T BE DISTURBED BE HAPPY.......

This is a random e-mail that my friend got from a guy who claims to know her. He is supposed to be on some seriously religious sturvs. It is horrendously funny, and I have copy and pasted it exactly as it is. The spelling, grammer and capital letters are priceless!! All the laughs I give you guys for free......LOL!

Enjoy

"DON'T BE DISTURBED BE HAPPY"

"SALLAMALAIKUN WARAMOTULAHI WABARAKATU,once again!
i red ur msg yesterday&understood the content(my identity)
how do i konw u?
YES THIS IS A RESPONSIBLE QUESTION,FROM RESPONSIBLE SISTER!
ANSWER TO THE QUESTION......
I have a little chat with u when u visited ur home country!
we sat together to jist for some mins,i saw u off why travelling,i new ur mum very well,i new ur resident in lagos,even i have ur private no in u.k.but i only saw u once!
therefore u may not recognized me!but i have ur picture in my heart!
BASIS OF MY MSG IS JUST TO BE CHATING WITH U (Since ISLAM SAYS WE ARE BROTHER&SISTERS)
I would have been comunicating with u since all this while but am scare that u may SEE ME AS ONE OF THE DISGRUNTLES ELEMENT,NFA,UNSERIOUS YAHOO BOYS!
INWHISH,my mission is quiet different from there's
BUT (QURAN 4,124.IF any do the deeds of righteousnees be male or female and have faith,they will enter heaven)this verse motivated me to start chathing with u 4now till i will visit u in uk if permitted by u!so don't ingnore my msg nor stop to response to my chart because i suew with the name of ALHAH ALHMIGHTY MY AIM TO U ARE GENUINE
As a beliver i know u can't ingnore my msg going by (QURAN 4, 86 WHEN A COURTEOUS GREETINGS IS OFFERED U,MEET IT WITH A GREETINGS MORE OR EQUAL)!
ABOUT MY SELF
NAME;SHUAIB ADE ADEBAYO,Boy of late 70's accounting graduate home&abroad
am sorry if am over hailing myself! but that is little about myself&a boy from ogun state/kwara state.knows u from a place where ALLAH PERMMIT TO KNOW SOMEONE.U KNOW ME BUT U MAY NOT KNOW THAT IS MEEEEE!MA'ASSALAM..........PRAY TO READ FROM U"

Yahoo boy or yahoo boy???
LOL
xoxo

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

Sexual Offences Act......

Heyy blogsville,
I have the funniest story to tell you, this is definately your joke of the day. Ok so I have been going to court everyday this past week because we are handling a case of sexual assult. Its been really interesting and I have learnt so much, but most importantly I have learnt that you get really emotionally attached to your clients and to the case.

Ok to get the joke, you have to understand the offence, the Sexual Offences Act 2003 says:
(1) A person (A) commits an offence if—
(a) he intentionally touches another person (B),
(b) the touching is sexual,
(c) B does not consent to the touching, and
(d) A does not reasonably believe that B consents

So I was researching the appeal points of our case and I came accross this case called Bounekhla(2006, EWCA, Crim 1217). Here the accused man "surreptitiously brings out his penis and ejaculates on a girl while dancing with her in a club"!!! But whats even more shocking is that he is found NOT GUILTY of sexual assult because there is no actual touching which is necessary for this crime, as if touching does not occur then the offence is not completed!!!!!

Theres an even more bizzare case of a man who tells a young girl that "her singing voice will improve if she puts his penis in her mouth!!!!!"Here he is found guilty, because although she is consenting, she does not realise what she is consenting to.

WHAT D HELL????

The things we see and hear in court are unbelievable!!!

Enjoy
xoxo

CASH OR CREDIT 5.....


The wait from Part 4 is over, and trust me your patience was well worth it........
Enjoy xxx


8.45am
Monday morning at the wrought iron entry gates of Holloway Grove, Kabir shielded his eyes from the sun and adjusted his footing; he never came to work this early.







He glanced over at the security guard as he listened to the traffic report on his portable radio, engrossed like it was the stock market. Kabir had been standing for twenty minutes, his cream chinos lightly dusted by gusts of wind and his loafers didn't resemble what they used to. Standing still for so long, Kabir finally gave in and decided to indulge the old man in conversation; more than the perfunctory nod he gave him each morning.
“Good morning” Kabir said in his best English accent; just because the man was Hausa didn’t mean they had to converse in it
“You too” Musa replied surprised Kabir had grown manners. Kabir looked around for something to ask the man about, the weather? Darn, sometimes he was so British. Then he heard the gate creak open and his heart beat a little faster. Jennifer walked in briskly. The gust blew against her black cropped pants and red wrap shirt. Her hair was held back with a black Alice band and she was wearing the friendship bracelet Kabir knew was given to her on her 12th birthday by her best friend. Her heels clicked ever loudly towards the glass doors and Kabir felt his tummy do flips, Jen ignored him like he was furniture; Jen knelt before Musa who greeted her warmly as he received the outstretched apple she offered like it was the seed of life and Jen blushed as he thanked her.
Kabir swallowed through the razor sharp pain in his throat when her smile glazed over him.
Kabir had not hoped for acknowledgement as he planned his ambush, he never would have had the guts to approach her in this manner after three months of a cold front but it seemed there was a breakthrough in Abuja. Jen hadn't told him to go to hell, not verbally.
“Good morning Jennifer”
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Jen asked flatly
“I was hoping I could invite you to spend lunch with me” Kabir tried to peer through her sunglasses, her eyes were strikingly honest
“You think that would be a good idea?”
“I would love it if you thought so”
“I wouldn't have much time to spare” Jen warned
“I’ll bring it to your office; you don't even have to leave your desk” Kabir said
“Ok” Jen shrugged her shoulders and walked into the building
“Oh by the way, Good morning Kabir” she smiled a little and slid into the lobby
Kabir tried to pretend that was not the best news he'd heard in months. Kabir restrained himself from following her in, he heard her walk to the elevator- as an Architect he knew the distance in feet and yards- and decided to give Jen couple more minutes to get to her floor; there is a thin line between a cute ambush and stalking.. His feet moved awkwardly as he felt the old man's stare, he knew how service providers liked to gossip and did not need noses in his business. He turned to the old man and saw as his lips formed a question; Kabir did not intend to stay around for its completion and turning quickly, he walked into the lobby. He would rather stare at the glass sculpture than stand outside chatting idly with the security guard.

11.45am
Eighth floor Holloway Grove Kabir sat staring at his watch; the Rolex appeared to mock him as the bronze wave diamond set dial refused to move any closer to 12.00. He held the watch with his fingers and played with the oyster case back. The Rolex diamond and white gold wristwatch had been a gift from Halima to him on his graduation day in Cambridge. Diamond and white gold- that’s what they were called; he and Halima.
From secondary school as they danced their first waltz- Prom King and Queen- on the night he walked the gardens of the hotel the school had rented for prom, Kabir swung her Chanel heels in his free hand and the other arm linked with hers. In his tuxedo beside Halima in her white dress, white gold bracelet and bare feet. Kabir had given her his grandmothers’ ring then, a little diamond, certain he would never be happier. She had laughed at him and told him to calm down but she wore it anyway. Kabir still wore the watch and his ring was now a second piercing on Halima’s left ear. Diamonds and white gold; their special little joke.

The sapphire crystals on the face of the watch danced on the plastered wall as the light from the window played on the surface; he glanced at the watch from his fiancée to be punctual to meet his girlfriend, the irony was not lost on Kabir.
“Bros K, you get me now” Alaye said
Kabir looked up at his colleague; he had completely tuned out and had no idea what he would be agreeing to. Recognising the beady look in Alaye’s eye as he adjusted his white agbada, Kabir merely replied “No, I think that’s disgusting” applause broke out in the office with shouts off “I told you that’s not the age of consent”
“I pray for you Alaye” Rita said as she peeled her tangerine. “To think K will be on your side” she shook her head and her polka dot earrings swung from side to side. Kabir had known Rita for three years and she always had polka dots in her attire: jumpers or jewellery, skirts, scarves or shoes. They played a game and each day he would point them out, Kabir knew he had spoken to Rita this morning but he couldn't recall if they had their routine.
“Earrings” he said to her
“I could tell you weren’t in the mood today” Rita replied affectionately. Kabir saw her dimples peek out and said fruitlessly “How old are you Rita?” She merely shook her head and responded with the usual “If I told you, I’d have to kill you”
“We will never give up” Femi added "For all we know you could be as young as Alaye's date last night"
“Ah no” Rita exclaimed “I can assure you i'm not…” Kabir tuned out before she’d even finished, 11.50am the dial said. What is this torture?
“Who are you waiting to see Kabir?” Femi asked beside his ear
“Jennifer” Kabir responded without thinking
The office took a momentary pause, even Alaye stopped describing nipples to stare at Kabir; and then they all seemed to speak at the same time
“I thought you had left this thing” Femi said
“Hey shooo, the babe has been withholding the goods since then” Alaye said
“You need to leave that nice girl alone, you can't offer her anything” Rita sighed
“But…”
“But nothing" Rita interjected. “You did not see her when she came to look for you that day, as she ran out of the office basically in tears”
Kabir felt it cut deep as he remembered the fateful day he witnessed heartbreak firsthand “but I love her” he protested
“You barely even know her” Femi continued “You know Halima” he added quietly
“I know all I need to” Kabir concluded and he pushed his chair back and stretched his tense muscles. Rita shook her head disapprovingly as he walked to the elevator.

Kabir arrived at the fifth floor still with minutes to spare and saw Jen furiously typing at her desk. He had never been to her office and took a minute to ponder the stares he was receiving, he smiled politely and pointed at Jen and a lady almost hurt herself trying to get out of her chair fast enough to jab Jen and indicate for her to turn around.
Jen greeted him with as much warmth as the Arctic and returned to her screen.
“You look really beautiful today” Kabir said. Jen snorted
“I especially like the powder sugar on the nose touch”
Jen’s finger flew to her nose and sure enough the stupid doughnuts had left their mark. Kabir laughed and said “Don't ruin it. Or else it won't go with the pencil in your hair”
Jen looked him in the eye “You’ve got to be kidding me” but sure enough the HB pencil she had been twirling earlier was right there behind her left ear. Jen had to laugh at herself and Kabir shut his eyes for a moment to bask in the sound of it.
“So I have a treat planned for lunch” He said while he still had her attention
“I thought you were bringing a tray up from the lunch room”
“Oh… yeah… that” Kabir answered distracted as he fiddled with his phone
“What are you doing?” In answer to her question the elevator opened and a tray was wheeled in by Sandra. The plates were covered but the napkins bore the name of the Thai restaurant they had been to. Kabir thanked Sandra with one of his smiles and she giggled her way out. Jen rolled her eyes “Isn’t this a little over the top for lunch?”
“It wouldn’t have to be this way if I was guaranteed dinner” Kabir responded. He watched Jen lift the cover with a blank expression and stare at the spiced noodles she had ordered that night.
“What’s this called? I don’t remember the name” she asked
“Jen's special”
“Your lines get cornier and cornier”
“I am a little out of practice, that’s all”
She laid the napkin on her lap and they ate in polite company. Kabir restrained himself from touching her and made sure the conversation stayed on course avoiding the invisible landmines; they spoke about work, family and travel. Kabir laid out the chocolate fudge cake dessert as Jen stood up to bring them both coffee, as she proceeded down the hall Kabir heard her gasp and looking up quickly he noticed the room had become empty. During their meal, slowly the room had been evacuated but they were so immersed in their world even with the new boundaries that they never noticed the lack of company. Till now.

Their eyes met across the office space and he saw mild panic reflected in hers. For a second, he became elated; if Jen was so nervous about being alone with him that must mean she was still attracted to him. He still had a shot at winning her back; completely. Jen’s eyes began to dart from the elevator to the vacant desks and back again, lips in silent prayer wishing for interruption. The elation died down and Kabir was upset at her reaction. He wasn’t a thug; nothing will happen that Jen didn’t consent to. Playing the game subtlety Kabir stood up, looked at his watch in an exaggerated fashion and said “I think I’ll skip the coffee today”
Jen shot him a look of relief but her lips countered with “Are you sure?”
“Yes” Kabir said definitively. He pretended to ignore Jen wiping her palms on her shirt. Could she be anymore nervous?
“Oh ok” Jen sighed silently. Kabir pretended to ignore that as well
“Thank you for lunch” Jen said with the first genuine warmth she had radiated in his direction
“The receptionist will come up in a minute to take the trolley away”
“Oh I’ll take it down” Jen offered
“No, she will do it” Kabir said “Don’t worry about it.” He turned around and walked into the elevator. As the doors shut, he thought he heard Jen collapse into a chair.

Back on the eighth floor, Kabir stalled in the elevator, he did not feel much like work anyway. He hit the big red button and signals from the ground floor and subsequent floors above were blocked as the elevator’s rolling steel ropes grinded to a halt over the pulley. He stared at the ceiling, Jen was afraid of him. Kabir could not bring himself to understand that. Perhaps ambushing was not the way to go seeing as she no longer trusted him. If he ever hoped to see Jen again, at her will that is – he was going to have to be gentle. Forewarning her would be a good place to start because as long as he lived Kabir never wanted to see Jen’s eyes cloud over with fear as a result of him just being there. Desire yes, Fear no. He also never wanted the tone of her voice pitchy with uncertainty. Low and sultry yes, high and squeaky no. Kabir bit the bullet and sent Jen a text message:

Jen thank you for lunch, it was special, as are you. Perhaps we could have it again; same time, same desk. If you are ever in need of company. Kabir


He waited with breath bated for a reply he was unsure would ever arrive. A minute later his phone beeped:

D,
"Kwana biyu, been a minute. If I don’t hear from you soon I might start thinking you were serious about eloping with Megan Fox…lol. Please get back to me about the band soon or we might lose them. I really want Maroon 5 hint hint. Love you. Halima xxx
P.S- tell Femi I found the perfect date to accompany him. He owes me one. "

Kabir sighed. He didn’t even want to start with wedding plans. How was he going to tell her? More importantly what was he going to tell her? Halima was in Kano with her parents, after which she would go visit his relatives in Adamawa bearing gifts on his behalf. Just as he had done when she had to work and couldn’t make it a few months ago. His family and her family were one strong bond. So many entanglements; he lived with her second cousin before the lease on his apartment in Cambridge came through during his university days, regularly plays golf with her Godfather, went apartment hunting with her younger sister last time he was in London…His phone beeped once more, jolting him from his thoughts.

Next Monday, same time, same desk. P.S- You were right, your lines are less corny already. Practice does make perfect. : ) Jen

Kabir re-read the text several times over and stared at her name in his inbox, he hung his head to hide his smile from himself. Nineteen words and he was a teenager again and Femi wonders why he is so in love with this girl.

So it was every Monday that month, Kabir nestled his way into Jen’s office with lunch.
Second Monday he brought over Chinese, they filled up on spicy spring rolls before Sandra had even wheeled in the beef in black bean sauce and side of rice. Kabir exchanged his Singapore fried rice for Jen egg fried rice because the lady at the restaurant forgot to exclude pork from his dish. This led to a light hearted debate about who owned which fortune cookie. Jennifer’s palm got sore from hitting her desk so much in “objection” to Kabir’s arguments. Lunch ended with sore cheeks on both sides as they laughed their way into an old, familiar rhythm.

Third Monday was Indian takeaway, naan bread and samosas were abused on the fifth floor; as Jen and Kabir dipped into various sauces: yoghurt with cucumber and crushed mustard seeds, sweet and sour date sauce, spicy peach chutney and curry paste. He also felt brave enough to hold her hand for a second- just a second- as they fought over mints.
The arctic winds had turned and Jen permitted Kabir to stay for dessert, he delighted her with Alaye’s escapades over Gaajar Ka Halwa and a dollop of vanilla ice cream topped with sultanas and almonds.

The last Monday of the month Kabir strolled in confidently holding the large takeaway bag at 12.00pm.
Jen disliked the idea of the receptionist bringing it up and consistently disproved of it, Kabir didn’t know why after all it’s her job but now he had to haul it in himself. A lady in a jacket cooed to him but Kabir ignored her. Jen was not at her desk, turning around he transfixed a smile on his face and beckoned the lady forward. She half-jogged to his side and stuttered her way through a greeting, in response Kabir pointed at Jen’s empty desk
“Oh Jennifer abi? She had to drop off a file.”
“Where?”
“Aiya who will chill with you now” she crooned
“Where?” Kabir repeated with steely annoyance. At the last minute he cloaked it with a smile
“Oh!” Her eyes boring holes in his forehead and somehow she had decided to link her arms through his. Kabir wasn’t sure how to untangle himself so he left it there.
“She is at our associate’s place, the mobile company that we had a contract with.” The lady leaned into him “You are an architect abi?” she licked her lips
As she was already too close for comfort Kabir forcedly excused himself before she thought it a good idea to run her hands up his thigh. He dropped off the tapas- his now ruined Spanish fiesta on the desk of a woman he had seen Jen converse with once or twice. He did not care to recall the name, as the brown packaging hit the desk she looked up annoyed but grinned sheepishly when Kabir smiled at her. Declining her offer of something- he never paid attention, he walked out confused. Where had Jennifer gone?

At the end of the working day, Kabir had escorted Femi downstairs to score some suya and he saw Jen saunter in through the gates. The security guard laughed as she twirled across the gravel floor towards him humming a tune. She presented the pale pink bougainvillea flower behind her ear to him with a flourish as he applauded loudly. Her full pale pink skirt lifted as the ruffles played at her knees and her white lace blouse hugged her curves beautifully, taut against her flat stomach. The wide patent belt accentuated her unexplainably tiny waist. Femi next to him had stopped talking and was smiling widely. Jen had those effects on people- elders applaud her and young men drool after her. She stopped when she saw Kabir and he crossed the few feet to her, he heard Femi on his tail.
“Hey Kabir” Jen said a little out of breath
“We are in a good mood” Kabir stated the obvious
“Please share your secret” Femi added
“Its singing” Jen laughed “Where are you two off to?”
“Going to grab some late lunch” Femi answered for them both. He was still grinning from ear to ear.
“I didn’t know we cancelled lunch today” Kabir said ignoring the need to roll Femi’s tongue back into his mouth.
“Oh I am so sorry” Jen apologised “I volunteered to run an errand. I’ll make it up to you and treat you to lunch on Wednesday”
“How about I take you out to lunch this time? No takeaways”
“Err..” Jen hesitated
“I ate lunch all alone” Kabir sulked
“All alone” Femi moaned in unison
“Just there, in the corner. All by myself, dejected, discarded, disposed, abandoned…”
“Depressed, demoralised, cast aside, ousted, put away, flung out,” Femi added
“Ok ok” Jen conceded laughing. “We’ll go out Wednesday”
Fair slender calves and size 7 feet clicked away, Femi put his arm around Kabir and leaning in closely said “Ok now I get it. It doesn’t mean I approve, but I get it”

12.00pm
Wednesday morning, underground parking garage Holloway Grove, Kabir leaned against his titan grey Bentley Continental GT and tapped his keys against his thigh, Jen was taking awhile, and she had to ask her boss for an hour extra for lunch, just in case they ran late. She was certain traffic would be gridlock today. The elevator slid open and Jen stepped out in a stripped blue shirt dress, spotted him and waved. As she walked towards him, Kabir unlocked the passenger door and held it open; Jen slid in with a “Thank You” and fastened her seat belt. Jen raised an eyebrow as she settled in. “So this is your baby? She’s just as pretty as you said.” Portland hides on the leather seats, piano black veneer finish on the dashboard, chrome knuckle and beluga hide on the gear shift as well as an emblem foot pedal gave the interior a rich luxurious feel. “Yeah she’s real gorgeous” Kabir answered.

Kabir slowly pulled out and joined the queue of departing cars, most were going out to lunch, using his free hand popped open the glove compartment and pulled out his Police sunglasses. Jen rummaged in her bag for hers, as the sun flare hit the windscreen; high noon in Lagos.
“Kabir, do you mind if we stop over at Mama Cass? I need to grab lunch”
“I thought we were having lunch together?” Kabir stalled with his foot on the pedal
“It’s for Musa.”
“Who?”
“Musa.” Jen repeated loudly
“A colleague of yours?” Kabir had no idea who she was referring to
“No! Musa my friend at the entry gate, he’s only worked here for five years. You see him every morning” Jen looked aghast
“Oh the securities guard. I thought you meant someone important. We can’t. If we do, we’ll miss our lunch reservation” Kabir inched the car forward, they were second in line to pass through the toll gates.
“It’s important that I do. I promised Sandra I would get his lunch every Wednesday”
“Is that his daughter? Why doesn’t she do it then? The old man is her responsibility”
“Of course not. It’s Sandra at the front desk.”
“The receptionist? Of what concern is she to you?” The car passed the toll gate and cruised through the exit.
“What? She wheeled in lunch for you, directs your calls and hand delivers your mail and you don’t even know her name” Jen was gesticulating wildly
“Why should I?” Kabir replied with his eyes on the road as the car manoeuvred through the avenue
“Its important to know the people you work with. You can’t be this arrogant”
“I do not work with her. I do my job- as an Architect. She is a receptionist. A receptionist!! for heaven’s sake. What could we possibly have in common? Why do you feel the need to fraternise with these people, and even worse run their errands for them?”
Jen looked at Kabir like he had gone mad
“You are a pompous ass”
“They have nothing to offer you.” Kabir said ignoring her comment. “Build relationships with people who are beneficial to you. Lower management: cleaners, gardeners, security and all that is of no use. Do you understand?”
“Excuse me? Was that an order?” Jen turned fully to stare at him, her eyes wide.
“No. I am just telling you how you can better spend your time forming friendships” Kabir said calmly as he cruised through Victoria Island
“EXCUSE ME?” Jen shrieked
“Helping out these people might be good for your conscience now but your career is most important; soon you will have to discard your childish ways and face up to reality.”
“You think a career is what defines a person. Receptionist. Security guard. Junior Auditor.” Jen said. It wasn’t a question
“You are different” Kabir said. Taking note she mentioned her job last “If you would just do as I say, you could have so much potential”
“Do as you say” Jen repeated slowly
“Yes. It would be good for you; I know what I’m talking about”
Jen stared at him for a long time, her body perfectly still. Her eyes widened minutes later and she heaved her shoulders.
“There it is the chink in the armour.” Her voice concluded. “I see everything you’ve ever done differently now. The way you treated the waiter at the Thai restaurant, Temi and Tolu, Even Akpan remembered you- as the rude man who scolded him for being 10 minutes late.”
“The driver in Abuja was 10 minutes late, I like to be punctual. Sue me” Kabir looked away from the road slightly; Jen had a look on her face he did not recognise.
“You are an arrogant jerk Kabir. No one outside you narrow shallow world exists, you think that’s the way to live.”
“That makes no sense Jen, you had a privileged upbringing as well. You are in no position to judge me” Kabir’s voice was dangerously close to the edge. Jen had just insulted him a second time.
“I was taught to respect my elders and be courteous to everyone, regardless of their position in life. I thought that was a default setting in every Nigerian but apparently not. You spare no feeling for people outside your catchment you just throw one of your smiles and expect that to be penance enough”
“What are you saying?”
“I am saying, you are an arrogant jerk and a chauvinist pig.” Kabir could not believe it, a third time.
“Did u really just say that to me?” Kabir’s voice was low
“Pull over at that traffic light and unlock my door”
“Not until we work this out”
“NOW” Jen screamed. Kabir braked in shock and the cars behind began blaring as Jen hurriedly took off her seat belt and jumped out of her seat into the scorching heat. She raised an arm to hail a taxi, Kabir got out as well indicating for her to get back in the car. “What the hell is the matter with you?” he shouted. Jen got into the first cab that slowed down and making sure Kabir heard her, she said to the driver “Mama Cass please”

11.00am
Monday morning Etisalat offices in Oceanic Bank at 15, Itire Road, Surulere. Esosa scowled as his boss Mr. Adebayo once again took credit for fixing a leak in a big corporate account that Etisalat held with the UAE surrounding their Easy Starter pack.
“Don’t I get a round of applause?” the idiotic boss said. Whoever needs to ask the audience for one, clearly doesn’t deserve it. His colleagues reluctantly put hands together and the mumu had the guts to pretend to be embarrassed. Esosa tried to calm himself by crunching numbers and he eyed his neighbour’s workload enviously. He could not ask for anymore tasks- not under his name at least- because he was already maxed out on overtime. If he dared ask his boss for more work, he would be given something to “take a look at” and next thing the boss will be asking the office for a round of applause- for himself- on a job he has no recollection of.
“Well done” Tony said to Esosa. The whole office followed suit and spontaneous applause broke out on the floor. Esosa waved to everyone and said thank you.
“We know you actually did the work. Adebayo is just a figure head” Tony said once it died down
“When are you going to start your own company eh?” Nkiru asked “So I can come work for you”
Esosa laughed and asked Tony for a look at his workload. “No” he replied
“Any other day I would love to give you my work to do for me but you know HQ is having a reshuffle. I need my stats to be straight. “
“My friend pass it here” Esosa urged
“I said no now. Na by force…” Tony laughed “You blasted through yours now let me wade through mine”
“No its because he works like its his father’s company. If you were like us now and paced yourself” Imade said from behind his glasses. Esosa spread his five fingers wide in a locally known insult.
“It’s because he doesn’t have a girlfriend to keep him busy” Nkiru added waiting for general laughter but all eyes were in one direction.
Esosa looked up and saw Jen tip-toe in her pink skirt and lace blouse giving her the look of a 50’s screen goddess; he got up scraping his chair back loudly and stormed towards her.
“Jen” he said
“Esosa what a surprise” she said at the same time. Esosa raised an eyebrow
“I work here” he said
“Really? I didn’t know that” Jen said staring at the space behind him. Esosa looked at her and tried not to smile. She missed him.
“You missed me” he said
“No I didn’t. In case you didn’t notice this is a bank as well” Jen replied
“There are banks in VI, you didn’t have to come all the way to Surulere”
“I like this branch”
“The one in Adeola Odeku is larger”
“I happened to be in the area”
“Broad Street branch on the Island offers a wider choice”
“The staffs here are more helpful and I had questions to ask”
“This branch specialises in pensions for the over-65s. If that’s the case you look good for your age”
“I am here to meet someone actually”
“Who?”
“Mike…
“Mike?”
“Ola, Yemi something….”
“Ola? Yemi?”
“I was told to just come in and introduce myself and I would be directed to the person in question”
Esosa looked at her and held her gaze, he decided to let her have this one. He just couldn’t believe she was here. God does love him.
“Hey, since you’re here by coincidence. Do you want to have lunch?” Jen said trying to be nonchalant and failing. Esosa was quiet as he stared at her; he knew he had overdone the worship when Jen started hopping from one foot to the other.
“Yeah sure. I know a nice place up the street” he said
“I have somewhere in mind actually, on the Island” Jen said trying not to blush
“Wow! Someone is in a charitable mood” Esosa teased
“Yes, thanks to your early departure from Holloway, the money to fix the damage done to our foundations from your one month heavy marching stint has been confirmed as temporary repairs so my salary is intact. The acoustics of our building no longer echo your footsteps, we are safe from Big Foot” Jen flashed him a smile.
“Oh now I know why you’re here. Hang on let me grab you an application for Miss Nigeria.” Esosa pretended to look around for a file. “You have the fake smile and high pitch perfect, you are a natural.”
“Will you be stomping around there as well?”
“Only if you forget to say how much you love World Peace” Esosa countered

The bickering continued until they made it to Esosa’s car. The Cayman blue Toyota AYGO was parked under and shaded by a mango tree. It didn’t even look locked. Esosa saw the look on Jen’s face and said “No don’t worry I only park it here because John looks after it for me”
He pointed at an elderly man sipping from a metal cup in a nearby shop. He waved, Jen did likewise and the man nodded back. As they pulled out, Jen fiddled with the radio and Esosa drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Just having her in his car made him ecstatic.
“I don’t think it will be a good idea to go to the island, there will be too much traffic getting back” Esosa said
“There will be no traffic. We will be back before then”
“Jennifer…”
“Oh you worry too much” she swatted him playfully. “Don’t you care about frown lines?” Esosa stared at Jen and found himself agreeing, as she smiled and told him of the new restaurant they were headed to, he knew it was completely worth it.
They made it to the restaurant in time and experienced the joy of cooking their own meat on slabs of stone. Esosa enjoyed it a lot more than he thought he would, although the first time Jen suggested it he christened it “homemade overpriced suya” to which she had laughed well naturedly. They also shared a table with a group of girls on holiday from schooling abroad who Jen naturally became best friends with. Lunch was full of laughter and wine. Sharing worst pick up lines and top ten things done in time of brokerage. Esosa was the envy of all the men in the restaurant as the only male on a table of giggly, tipsy girls. A silly guy actually gave him the thumbs up on his way out.
As they got into the car on their way back, they drove into a narrow territory and were caught in the worst traffic jam of history.
Esosa turned to Jen and said nothing. He did not need to.
“This is just a little traffic” Jen immediately said
Ten minutes later…
“Its just dragging a bit long, we’ll be speeding in no time” Jen said
Twenty minutes later
“Ok fine. I accept. You were right. Now stop with the look its driving me insane.”
Esosa smiled at her frustration. He wound up the windows and turned the AC on full blast. Jen laid her head back and enjoyed the cool air coming through the dents.
Esosa commented on her outfit “I like the vintage look you’re working, very nice”
“Oh thank you”
“Is it Virgos Lounge?” Esosa asked
“Yes, how did you know?”
“We handled their account a couple of months back. Those ladies are going to be HUGE”
“You have met them. Like the actual girls. As in Oye, Fioye and Nike? Jen was hyperventilating.
Jen hung on his every word. “What were they like?”
“Human” Esosa answered
“I can’t believe you’ve met them”
“That’s generally how it works Jen. It would be illegal if the client didn’t know. If you start breathing, I’ll tell you more”
“Ok absolutely.” Jen took deep breaths
“They want to expand especially with the website up and running and getting so many hits. The challenge was to narrow down where most of the sales were from and open a second flagship store there”
“Where? Where?” Jen jumped on her seat
“South Africa. Sun City to be precise. The floral and cocktail dresses for next season are amazing. We’ve handled fashion accounts before but theirs really stood out for me
Because it’s so feminine. All that lace and ruffles, it makes a guy want to buy flowers and open doors.” Esosa said
“So you like fashion.” Jen looked at him with a quirky smile
“What? Just because I’m a man I can’t have good taste”
Jen took in his blue shirt, blue tie and grey trousers.
“Err…yeah. I think I can see what you were trying to do” She was a horrible liar
“I think I’ll leave the looking beautiful to you” Esosa laughed
“I missed you Esosa” Jen said “Its so boring at work, not really, I mean things are quite nice but there’s no one to… you know…..” Jen looked at him “You’re not there”
Esosa looked at her “What took you so long to come find me?”
“I don’t know” Jen said “I don’t have an answer about what you said in Abuja, it doesn’t seem like I will anytime soon. I didn’t want to show up empty handed”
“Just show up.” Esosa squeezed her hand for a brief moment. “Leave the pining and confused feelings to me”
Jen laughed and he joined in.
As the car crawled by in the go-slow, Jen turned to Esosa to speak just as the radio played a Blast from the Past.
“AHHH” she shrieked “Its Casablanca. My favourite movie”
“Oh come on” Esosa shook his head. “Just when you were so cool…you had to go and say that”
Jen ignored him and started singing the lyrics to the timeless As Time Goes By
You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by
Esosa rolled his eyes, and pretended not to hear her.
“Sing along with me” Jen urged
“What makes you think I know the words?”
“Because you are a man of surprisingly good taste and you know everything”
Jen took out her brush from her bag and crooned the second verse into it, her favourite part.
And when two lovers woo
They still say I love you
On that you can rely
No matter what the future brings
As time goes by
Jen’s eyes pleaded with him and Esosa found himself humming quietly.
Moonlight and love songs- never out of date
Hearts full of passion- jealously and hate
Woman needs man -and man must have his mate
That no one can deny….
The car on the lane next to theirs honked his horn once, then the driver put his finger to his head and made small circles, yes perhaps they were crazy.
As the final verse was crooned out by Frank Sinatra which he admitted to being his favourite, Esosa knew he had too much red wine as he leaned his head against Jen and their voices harmonised as one
It’s still the same old story
A fight for love or glory
A case of do or die
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by

Esosa was having the best day; he glanced across at Jen who was furiously drumming on his dashboard as he sang along to Sawana by Ghana boys. This girl made him sing in his car, at the top of his voice. She was simply amazing…it had been an hour and they only moved a couple of yards so as they settled for the slow drive back, Jen popped open the bottle of red from the restaurant and handed Esosa a fork as they ate left over fried meat from the takeaway bag- Jen found a pink flower in the bag and placed it behind her ear. Swigging from plastic cups- Esosa later had to switch to water if they hoped to arrive safely- they sung to every song on the radio, regardless of if they knew the words.
Esosa had to go by his office first, Jen wasn’t in a hurry to get back to Holloway so by the time he did drop her off, and it was well the end of the day. She got out of his car twirling in her skirt and humming to Sinatra, Esosa shook his head, and after she reassured him for the umpteenth time that Shaw wouldn’t be upset- hence no need for him to come up, Esosa asked that his regards to be sent to Musa, Sandra and Meg and drove off.

5.00pm


Wednesday HR Holloway Grove, Kabir walked in to find Jen sieving through some movies and conversing in paced Yoruba with one of the women. The lady in her office, who always touched him, said she would be here. He was confused and upset about what had happened earlier. Jen saw him and ran her eyes up and down his body as though wishing it to set on fire. Kabir walked up to her, ignoring the fat woman and asked that they speak outside. He knew Jen would not want to make a scene down here of all places so they walked into the hallway.
“What happened earlier?” Kabir said
“I realised that you are not the person I thought you were”
“I’m not even sure I know what we fought about” Kabir said
“That’s because you don’t listen Kab-”
His phone vibrated cutting her short, he answered without glancing at the caller ID
Yes
No
I don’t care
For heaven sake
I. DON’T. CARE
Do what I told you to
I’ll call you later…
Bye
“Is that how you speak to your fiancée?” Jen asked her eyes open
How did she know it was Halima? He didn’t even mention her name.
“You were saying something…” Kabir diverted the topic. Jen still stared at him.
“What do you want from me Jen? I speak to her this way because my feelings for you confuse me. I am upset at her for something she has nothing to do with. Lately everything I do upsets you as well. Tell me what you want me to change and I will.”
“It’s not that easy, Kabir”
Kabir looked at Jen and he couldn’t believe what he was seeing,
“Is there somebody else?” he had to ask
“Maybe but that has nothing to do with my reaction with you today”
“Are you really angry at me or are you projecting your feelings for me unto this new guy?”
“Don’t insult me Kabir. I can tell one from the other”
“Then tell me what the problem is”
“I am uncomfortable with the way you treat people under you and anyone who speaks to his fiancée in that manner can’t be too much of a gentleman”
“I am in love with you Jen but you confuse me. Three months ago I was perfect and romantic now I am an arrogant jerk and chauvinist pig. I think you need some time” with that Kabir did the hardest thing and walked away from Jen.








To be continued.....


By S.B

Saturday, 4 July 2009

The Ex List.....

This post is very short.....

Why do we keep going back......

To the ex........?????